Round and Round

dachay2tnr

dachay2tnr

One Hit Wonder
I seem to be becoming the master of the 2-1/2 minute song, lol. Not sure why my songs all end up this short, but it is what it is. This one is actually 2:43, so maybe I'm working my way up to 3:00 minutes. :)

Anyway I'd appreciate whatever feedback you'd care to share. Be happy to answer any questions you may have. TIA.

Mike
 

Attachments

RFR said:
Good job, good tune. But damn, it’s depressing.

You describe the death of a relationship in 2 minutes 41 seconds.

Impressive
Click to expand...
Just here to spread some of my cheer. 😁

Funny but the song we’re currently working on is exactly the opposite… the start of a relationship (in 2:52).

Anyway I believe art is the ability to draw out emotions, as such I take your comment as high praise. 👍🏼
BTStudio said:
How about sticking an instrumental or solo in there after the second verse that would sound good and stretch her out a bit
Guy
Click to expand...
Thought about that. Seemed like a cop out to me though. Bottom line I’m ok with it being short. It was just a comment that although I don’t set out to write short songs, lately they all seem to come out that way. Thanks for the feedback.
 
dachay2tnr said:
Just here to spread some of my cheer. 😁

Funny but the song we’re currently working on is exactly the opposite… the start of a relationship (in 2:52).

Anyway I believe art is the ability to draw out emotions, as such I take your comment as high praise. 👍🏼

Thought about that. Seemed like a cop out to me though. Bottom line I’m ok with it being short. It was just a comment that although I don’t set out to write short songs, lately they all seem to come out that way. Thanks for the feedback.
Click to expand...
Well you certainly told a story and you did it fast and to the point. Hats off to ya!
 
Great song. I really like the way you did the bridge section.

About the only thing that I would do is to back off the snare and rim click. They just seem quite a bit louder than the rest of the drums and they are almost too "snappy" for my taste.
 
TalismanRich said:
Great song. I really like the way you did the bridge section.

About the only thing that I would do is to back off the snare and rim click. They just seem quite a bit louder than the rest of the drums and they are almost too "snappy" for my taste.
Click to expand...
Thanks, Rich. I’ll take a look at the snare/side stick. Appreciate the comments.
 
Nice song dachay2tnr. Something weird between 1:09 and 1:10. Can't tell if it is the kick drum or a splice or what, but the timing 'skips'.

You have wonderful vibrato to your voice.

​

​

 
Eric Malone said:
Nice song dachay2tnr. Something weird between 1:09 and 1:10. Can't tell if it is the kick drum or a splice or what, but the timing 'skips'.

You have wonderful vibrato to your voice.

​

​

Click to expand...
I’ll take a look at that section. There’s no splices, so I’m not sure what you’re hearing. Maybe a glitch in the streaming playback?

I’m not the singer on this one, but I’ll pass along your comment. I’m sure he’ll be pleased. Thanks for listenin.
 
Eric Malone said:
Nice song dachay2tnr. Something weird between 1:09 and 1:10. Can't tell if it is the kick drum or a splice or what, but the timing 'skips'.
Click to expand...
I just gave it a second close listen, and I hear nothing like a splice. The only thing close to that is a double snare hit at 1:04 when it changes sections, which is just a transition. There are no timing skips or issues that I hear.
 
@dachay2tnr I was actually thinking that a solo might help convey the emotions of the song if done sympathetically enough. Not really too concerned with the song length. It’s also really good just left as is. Cheers
 
TalismanRich said:
I just gave it a second close listen, and I hear nothing like a splice. The only thing close to that is a double snare hit at 1:04 when it changes sections, which is just a transition. There are no timing skips or issues that I hear.
Click to expand...
I agree, Rich. I thought he might be referring to the double snare hit, too, but it’s a few seconds earlier than the point Eric mentions. Anyway, I’m not hearing anything.
 
BTStudio said:
@dachay2tnr I was actually thinking that a solo might help convey the emotions of the song if done sympathetically enough. Not really too concerned with the song length. It’s also really good just left as is. Cheers
Click to expand...
I’m not really bothered by the song length either. I only mentioned it because I found it amusing that several songs I’ve written lately all come in under 3 minutes. I agree a “proper” solo could enhance the song, but I wouldn’t add a solo simply just to lengthen the song.

Maybe I can play with that Oboe-y thing that’s in the second verse. It has a plaintive tonal quality that fits the lyrics imo. We’ll see. Appreciate the input.
 
The kick drum is late and the timing is off.

Makes it 'sound' like a splice (to me), even though it isn't.

The 3rd bar / drum grouping of the chorus.

kick / snare kick-kick
kick / snare kick-kick
kick / snare kick ..... kick (late)

The drums in general could be tightened up a bit, aside from that I think it's a great tune.
 
That clicky rim shot(?) in the first verse really pokes out, even moreso on small speakers. Maybe make it less pokey out? That's all I noticed, cuz mostly I was listening to the song itself, which is really good news mix-wise. I think this one's one of your best, that I've heard anyway. Oh, maybe another dB on the mellotron sound at the end?
 
Eric Malone said:
The kick drum is late and the timing is off.

Makes it 'sound' like a splice (to me), even though it isn't.

The 3rd bar / drum grouping of the chorus.

kick / snare kick-kick
kick / snare kick-kick
kick / snare kick ..... kick (late)

The drums in general could be tightened up a bit, aside from that I think it's a great tune.
Click to expand...
I'll check. It was a live drum performance, and I'm ok with small imperfections. In fact, I like them mostly. I appreciate the input and the listen.
 
dobro said:
That clicky rim shot(?) in the first verse really pokes out, even moreso on small speakers. Maybe make it less pokey out? That's all I noticed, cuz mostly I was listening to the song itself, which is really good news mix-wise. I think this one's one of your best, that I've heard anyway. Oh, maybe another dB on the mellotron sound at the end?
Click to expand...
OK, you guys are convincing me to lower the side stick. Thank you for the nice words. Pokey out is the Juliard term I presume? :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top