Recording Ass Plops!!!!!!

  • Thread starter Thread starter Analytical Man
  • Start date Start date
Just drop a turd onto a Crown PZM. You'll get the full effect!

-mg
 
Thanks for bumping this! Great read. I personally go direct with my anus, 1/4" cord up the butt into a D.I. straight into the board.
 
There are 3 extrememly helpful things that must be done before attempting this type of tracking.

First, the inside of the bowl MUST be acoustically treated. There are several places that sell a kit for your bowl where the treatment is flushable and environmentally friendly. This should be done properly, and never tongue-in-cheek.

Second, there is a VST called 'AnusEjectus' which will de-esss that flatulatory sounds while enhancing the plop. I forget the url, so you'll have to search on google. There have been time when I haven't used this, and my tracks went down the drain.

Third, if you double track and then pan them hard left/right, you will get a great stereo affect. On the whole, I have heard others use stereo mics too, but the double tracking sounds much better.

Good luck and let us know how it turns out in the end.
 
I would use a binaral on a head placed on a dummy sititng on the toilet for the most accurate "you are there" reproduction :eek:
 
bigwillz24 said:
Best thread ever....! :D
Click to expand...

So bigwillz...you've recorded this perfectly and then polished it so that it is a studio sounding polished turd. And since you do this daily, I would suppose you are a professional turd polisher. Would I be correct in that?
 
Use the same technique as when recording any other political statement.
 
Concentrate on the performance. If you are not confident that you have enough experience. Hire a session musician. They are worth their weight in gold and can show you new ways. There is also so much you can do in a home bathroom. If you don't like the results. Consider renting some time in a large airport toilet. This will also allow you to record some backup tracks and sound real professional.
Don't fuzz too much with the recording technique. Keep it real! Some of the best scatological recordings that I've ever heard were done by simply holding an SM57 between the legs. And anyway, at the end. All your efforts are likely to get mangled during mastering.
 
you might use a 5 Gal bucket, half full of water, in the middle of the studio (room sound) and use M/S, overheads, and some room mics. add reverb to suit your taste.

we didn't use sh*t for this but some water ballons and rocks to simulate someone slipping off a cliff and splashing into a cave lake... don't ask :-) made a very resounding "plop" "kuulugge" "swish" sound... with the right level of water and, er, droppings, it could work for you... If I can find the recording I'll post it... done back in around '85...

oh, and have a mop ready...
 
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