I love how these threads can take a left turn....so in an effort to get back on track
I just was gas lit again ( no not speaking of you IBB) ...the more you're aware of the technique the more you see it...don't misunderstand me...It's a name a label for the argumentized maneuver. I suppose we all do it by habit to different levels but when it goes to the levels of blind truth distortion...the person actually believes their distorted perspective is real...that's when you have a choice...continue futilely to try and bring clarity or disengage..Depending on the level of sanity of the GL you may or may not choose to continue on.
In my case I suggested XYZ option...(GL) No that is stupid! ."THIS" is what we should use...see here on this website ..(Me) OK let's google it...hmmmm See my choice is an option and is used in this application also just as yours is...it is not stupid...it is just another way of getting the job done. (GL) Yes it is ...OK GL just do it as you wish and I will do my part to complete the project as you like.... GL maneuver. OH shit no you wanted to do it your way and it is stupid...(Me) No I'm fine with doing it your way I'll advise you on the quantity you need once you've selected what option you want to go with..(GL) stomps out in a huff to go work out.... NO winners here... set down the stick and walk away from the shit... Leave that poor dead horse alone.
So I sat there trying to analyze how I could logic to this person that once I said fine just do it as you wish, conceded to them...instead of saying cool lets move on...they chose to bring up the history... unecessary and totally wanting to continue fighting about a fight that is over...
Came up with this analogy and maybe it works...maybe you knuckleheads can advise a better one ...with regards to getting on with life...forgiving what is history.
OK I accidentally left a bunch of nails in the driveway. You ran over them and got a flat. You were pissed. I was embarrassed even ashamed by my negligence, truly sorry, apologized and had the tire patched up and fixed.
The car rolls the tire is fixed but now every time we get in that car you bring up that I left nails in the driveway and inconvenienced you...Not necessary, it's history...
Bringing up that I suggested a different option, looking for a fight AFTER I concede and agree to do it their way in my crazy mind is the same as bringing up the flat tire after the fact...WHY? So my plan in dealing with this person who knowingly or most likely unknowingly is gas lighting me all the time is to share the Flat tire story and create a safe word for us Flat Tire when I feel I'm being gas lit I'll just say Flat Tire and hopefully the history lesson stops...
I don't know just trying to figure out how to keep this person in my life without having to feel like I want to slap em in the head more often than not because they are being SO FRICKIN OBTUSE!