New Song Day - Little Miss America

[Chili]

I haven't put up any new crap in quite a while, so here's some new crap for you guys to listen to... or not.

I came up with the idea for this song today and kept working on it to get it done. I am considering adding a gritty B3 organ part, but not sure yet.

As always, all comments welcome.

Thnx!!

View attachment Little Miss America.mp3

Version 2 See post #11
View attachment 90594

Version 3 See Post #26
View attachment 90620

Here is version 4.
Don't forget to CraNk It!!


Little Miss America

She was born from necessity
A child of complexity
Lots of people died
So she can reach maturity

She’s now something famous
Reserved and outrageous
An everyday girl
Beautiful and dangerous

Hey Little Miss America
Can you hear what I’m saying?
Hey Little Miss America
Is that your song that they’re playing?

When it comes to money, she’s a whore
Spread her legs and opens doors
She wants it all and then
She wants more

Doctor said she’s colorblind,
From what I see, I think he lied
She knows the truth
And how to pick a side

Hey Little Miss America
Can you hear what I’m saying?
Hey Little Miss America
Is that your song that they’re playing?

She’s not what she used to be
A broken down beauty queen
She tore her dress and then
She makes a scene.

The jaded star has fallen
Hands and knees she’s crawling
And all her friends won’t answer
When she’s calling

Hey Little Miss America
Can you hear what I’m saying?
Hey Little Miss America
Is that your soul that you’re selling?

 

[Greg_L]

The mix is okay. The bass could use a little more definition to me. The snare is kind of dull and the kick is kind of boxy. Guitars sound okay.

The big problem with this for me is the vocals. Not good. There's little to no melody and what little range there is it sounds like you're straining to hit the notes and fit the words. The phrasing is awkward at times. I think it would be improved with dropping the key a half step or more and rethinking the vocal delivery. I think maybe this hard classic rock angle doesn't suit you maybe? That's not a slam, I just think your more laid back/country stuff is done better.

 

[DM60]

My only comment would be try a different approach on the vocals. I think this could be done with a smoother voice, even if it was a country style voice (like the old southern rock).

I like the tune, think with the right vocal approach could be really good song.

 

[Brian Miller]

I agree with the other posters that this song would benefit from a key change, so that the vocals are less strained. At least a step down, if not two. It doesn't mean you're not a good singer, just know your range and play in it! Also, try a de-esser. Some of those s's get real harsh.

Rhythm guitars have a great tone that work well for the song.

I think the kick drum could use more punch. Pull some out of the mids. Maybe a tight compressor. That would give the song more definition right up the middle.

Thanks for sharing!

 

[Chili]

Thanks guys. The morning after review is kind of like a hangover sometimes. Though no bottles of alcohol were harmed last night.

I like the hard charging vocals for a song like this, I think it gives the right attitude. BUT, listening today, I'm definitely flat throughout the song. Why didn't I hear that last night? I'll give the vocals another go tonight. Maybe experiment with a different delivery. or just melodyne what I have. lol. (It's a joke, melodyne doesn't work on raspy, broken-up vocals)

The drums are the EZD Americana pack. Flat and boxy. It's easy enough to experiment with other packs and change the feel of the drums. If they really need it.

I'm not sure about changing the tuning, this is already in drop-D.

I never have been very successful with de-essers. I have one or two of them, but I can't get them to work right. I can dial back the reverb and that will have a similar effect.

Thanks guys!!

And welcome to the site, Brian Miller.

 

[robgreen]

Yeah, I agree with Greg that the words don't quite fit the meter and sound a bit jammed in in spots. The guitar riff is really cool - I'm not crazy on the guitar effect itself, but I like the riff and the two panned parts work well.

Something like an organ part would be a good addition I think, as the mix sounds a bit bare currently. I think every song calls for a gritty organ part though, so maybe I'm not the best judge there...

If you struggle with de-essers, then why not do an EQ sweep? Find the frequency where the sibilance is and just notch it out with a narrow cut.

It's got good potential Chili I think.

 

[Brian Miller]

Thanks Chili, this seems like a good forum.

 

[jimistone]

I see what the others are saying about the strained vocal but...
It's a really great rock riff and I know from experience that sometimes a key change kills the groove. If it was me, I would keep it like it is and get someone who can really belt this type of vocal to sing it. I love how the bass changes and locks in with the guitar late in the song. This is really good stuff IMO.
Simple riffs that really rock are very hard to come up with.
Great tune man

 

[Chili]

Thanks guys. I'm thinking of reworking the arrangement altogether. Maybe do less with the riff throughout so I can do other stuff and open the song up for a better vocal delivery. Try to get a melodic line going. I love the riff I got going in the song, but I don't want to over do it. I'm going to shelf it for a few days and come back with more ideas.

 

[kcearl]

It reminded me of Eagles "Life in the fast lane" at the beginning...I like the guitars, tone, riff etc...vocals sound cool to me

I think the drums sounded OK, but Id guess they were software...not sure if thats a problem or not


Solid rock tune mate, the mix sounds good imo

 

[Chili]

Okay. I've redid the vocals and then made a lot of other little changes. When doing the vocals, I retracked a smoother delivery then added in the previous vocal take that ya'll hated (except KC - thanks dude) as a sub layer. Solo'd you can hear the previous vocal track underneath, but in the mix, I'm hoping it adds to the substance of the vocals. The old vocal track is now heavily compressed and no reverb.

I made no changes to the arrangement, though that is still possible in the future.

Let me know what you think.


View attachment Little Miss America2.mp3

 

[dobro]

Two things to try:

Take the space off that guitar riff and bring it forward.

Take the space off the solo guitar and do the same with it.

I'm not saying it'd be better, but if I was on this one, it's one of the first things I'd try, just to see.

Another idea is in the arrangement department. How about doubling the guitar riff with a second guitar as the song progresses?

 

[Armistice]

I didn't listen to the first version but I think the vocal style in the second is fine... I wouldn't change that, but I think you're struggling to hit some of the higher notes because it's all quite high in your range... I have exactly the same problem, I can hit any particular note as long as the notes before it aren't too high. I'd get around it by having another voice or two chorus the phrase - same not, not harmony. Worth a thunk... "can you hear what I'm saying?"

Either that or have a break and just punch in some lines rather than try whole takes.

Cymbals are a bit toppy / front for me and I'd do a couple more variations mebbe...

I'm hearing some noise artifacts, but that could be this damn PC /beats audio that seems to hype all sorts of stuff and I haven't worked out how to defeat it yet...

Cool tune though - nice riff and I like the sentiment.

 

[TripleM]

I listed to the mix a couple of posts above.

I liked the guitar riff. Nice tone.

Things in general sound real clear. Maybe even to a fault. There is a slight hint of "sterileness."

I think you could turn down the bass guitar a little. It could use a little warmth. Maybe a boost in the 400hz-600hz range?

I liked the tone on the lead guitar.

I thought the drum sound was real good. I'd back off the snare reverb just a nudge.

A doubled lead vocal would sound good. I'm glad RAMI isn't here to bust my chops.

 

[DM60]

It sounds like you want to rock this but you're afraid of blowing out your vocals. I know that is how I am these days. If I sing too hard, I am out of it for at least a week.

Here is what I have been trying, on tracking, push the gain up, turn the volume up on the tracking channel so it is extra loud and then lowering my voice so I can push it without straining. Just a thought.

Everything sounds good. It just sounds like your voice won't do what you want it to or what it used to do.

 

[Chili]

Hey guys. Thanks again for all the good suggestions.

Some replies:

Take the space off that guitar riff and bring it forward.
Take the space off the solo guitar and do the same with it.

The guitars are recorded as is. I don't add any effects to them outside of subtle compression and EQ. Can't really change the space and I'm not sure I want to.

How about doubling the guitar riff with a second guitar as the song progresses?

The guitars are doubled already. It's two guitar parts hard panned to each side. Then the lead guitar is center.

but I think you're struggling to hit some of the higher notes because it's all quite high in your range...

Yeah, it's a little high, but I've song higher. Then again, I'm getting older.

I'd do a couple more variations mebbe...

Oops, meant to do that earlier and forgot.

I'm hearing some noise artifacts, but that could be this damn PC /beats audio that seems to hype all sorts of stuff and I haven't worked out how to defeat it yet...

Don't know about artifacts. Recording chain is the same that i.... wait a second, you're listening to my tunes on a pair of Beats.

Cool tune though - nice riff and I like the sentiment

Thanks man!!

I liked the guitar riff. Nice tone.
Things in general sound real clear. Maybe even to a fault. There is a slight hint of "sterileness."

Thank you. I'll take sterile as a good thing for now. If you were to hear some previous stuff, you'll understand why. I had Rami's recordings in mind when trying to capture clean takes.

I think you could turn down the bass guitar a little. It could use a little warmth. Maybe a boost in the 400hz-600hz range?
I liked the tone on the lead guitar.
I thought the drum sound was real good. I'd back off the snare reverb just a nudge.

Thanks. I can take a look at some of these things.

A doubled lead vocal would sound good.

No it wouldn't. I NEVER like a doubled lead vocal. I do like the subtle layering like I did here where you can't really hear the 2nd track, but it adds a little something. But I hate two equal level vocal tracks. But thanks for the suggestion and all the comments.

It sounds like you want to rock this but you're afraid of blowing out your vocals. I know that is how I am these days. If I sing too hard, I am out of it for at least a week.

Well, I'm not afraid of blowing my voice out. I have never come close to doing that. I think I went overboard with the first version and didn't pull it off well. The second version isn't exactly what I want, either, but at least it's more in tune and coherent. I might revisit, but I get to a point where I lose interest. Ha ha.. Thanks Dave, I appreciate the comments.

 

[Brian Miller]

Listening to the second iteration. Thoughts:

-What is that hum at 0:07 seconds? First listen I thought it was a synth. Now it sounds like hum from the bass. If it is, I would cut it off as much as possible. And if it's intentional, I don't like it.

-I'm hearing random clicking in the left channel starting at 0:16 seconds and it also sounds like a digital, unintentional artifact. Take a look? It seems to continue all the way through the song, so maybe it's intentional. Anyway, it's very distracting in headphones.

-Bass sounds thinner than the original. Seems to have lost it's thump in the 60-100hz range, and gained a little too much top end.

-Vox are MUCH better here. Still sounds a bit strained here and there, but overall it fits the song. I like the doubled vox spread in the chorus. In fact I could hear a few more doubled voices in the chorus. Almost a gang vocals. Make it REALLY big!

As the first time, I think this is a great song. The main riff is rocking and doesn't get old in spite of all the repetition.

EDIT: I would also like to hear a bit of tape saturation over the whole mix in the mastering phase. A previous commenter noted that it's all a little sterile and I agree. Just a pinch of dirtying up I think would lend character to the song, and be in line with the theme.

 

[Armistice]

Don't know about artifacts. Recording chain is the same that i.... wait a second, you're listening to my tunes on a pair of Beats.

No, I'm not, trust me... a good pair of Sennheisers, but I've got this new laptop "with beats audio" (fark, how did I miss that...) and just as I've started listening to stuff in the clinic in the mornings before I go to work I've noticed all sorts of weird stuff that no-one else apparently is hearing... , hyped top end, noises, compression artifiacts... so I'm thinking it's that damn audio card....

No, wait, I've just got it... audio files are all defaulting to play in iTunes still... must be that godamn program doing weird shit.... I'll reroute teh track tonight to Media Player and see if that fixes it. I hate Apple...

Continue!

 

[Chili]

Listening to the second iteration. Thoughts:

-What is that hum at 0:07 seconds? First listen I thought it was a synth. Now it sounds like hum from the bass. If it is, I would cut it off as much as possible. And if it's intentional, I don't like it.

-I'm hearing random clicking in the left channel starting at 0:16 seconds and it also sounds like a digital, unintentional artifact. Take a look? It seems to continue all the way through the song, so maybe it's intentional. Anyway, it's very distracting in headphones.

-Bass sounds thinner than the original. Seems to have lost it's thump in the 60-100hz range, and gained a little too much top end.

-Vox are MUCH better here. Still sounds a bit strained here and there, but overall it fits the song. I like the doubled vox spread in the chorus. In fact I could hear a few more doubled voices in the chorus. Almost a gang vocals. Make it REALLY big!

As the first time, I think this is a great song. The main riff is rocking and doesn't get old in spite of all the repetition.

EDIT: I would also like to hear a bit of tape saturation over the whole mix in the mastering phase. A previous commenter noted that it's all a little sterile and I agree. Just a pinch of dirtying up I think would lend character to the song, and be in line with the theme.

I can tell I like you already. You put a lot of effort into critiquing my song and I truly appreciate it. Thanks for that.

The hum was indeed on the bass track. I can't hear it, but the only thing starting 7 seconds is the bass track, so it's gotta be it. I tightened it up so the file starts just before the audio does.

The clicking on the left might be the tele guitar through a 120ms delay on the amp sim. I can't hear specifically what your hear, but that's the only thing solely on the left channel. None of my channels are anywhere near close to clipping. I don't think there is any digital artifacts. There are some drums parts panned around, but it's Superior Drummer, don't think there's any clicking from those guys. Wait, they might come out with a Finger-clicking expansion pack; part of the Dooh-Wap collection. But this clicking, whatever it is, is going to stay. Sorry.

Yup, there are some BGV's singing the lead line, no harmonies, so you get that gang sound.

There is a tape saturation plug on the master bus. Always has been. I like that you guys think it's sterile. To me that's a great compliment.

 

[Chili]

No, I'm not, trust me... a good pair of Sennheisers, but I've got this new laptop "with beats audio" (fark, how did I miss that...) and just as I've started listening to stuff in the clinic in the mornings before I go to work I've noticed all sorts of weird stuff that no-one else apparently is hearing... , hyped top end, noises, compression artifiacts... so I'm thinking it's that damn audio card....

No, wait, I've just got it... audio files are all defaulting to play in iTunes still... must be that godamn program doing weird shit.... I'll reroute teh track tonight to Media Player and see if that fixes it. I hate Apple...

Continue!

Whew... Almost had to de-friend you, ya know....

I hate Apple too.