My mission to all of you

  • Thread starter Thread starter dwarf
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dwarf said:
Next time you go into your local music store I dare you to play these songs.

1.Stairway to Heaven (but with a shitload of distortion)
2. House of the rising sun (with singing)
3.Tears in Heaven (act really emotional)
4. Smells like teen spirit (with NO VOCALS OR SOLO)

God kills a kitten everytime someone does that ... so I was told...
 
S.Clause said:
God kills a kitten everytime someone does that ... so I was told...

No, god kills a kitten every time you masturbate. Why is there a small hill of dead kittens in your front yard? :D
 
TravisinFlorida said:
No, god kills a kitten every time you masturbate. Why is there a small hill of dead kittens in your front yard? :D
Because I ran out of room at my house. Sorry
 
I wish I could play like that too. The funny thing is that I would never actually play like that even if I could. Go figure.
 
TravisinFlorida said:
I wish I could play like that too. The funny thing is that I would never actually play like that even if I could. Go figure.
I would. To get the chicks.
























Not really. Im happily girlfriended.
 
Go in and say "I'd like to buy a lead guitar" and see what happens. Usually, it's "how much are you looking to spend?". With the first cheapo guitar they bring you, play an open "G" chord, but mess up the fingering and use all "no sense of rhythm at all" down stroke strumming. Then ask to look at a slightly more expensive model...and play barre chords.Then when you get to the high end models, start shredding... or, you could just waste time staying at home and practicing...
 
sweetpeee said:
Go in and say "I'd like to buy a lead guitar" and see what happens. Usually, it's "how much are you looking to spend?". With the first cheapo guitar they bring you, play an open "G" chord, but mess up the fingering and use all "no sense of rhythm at all" down stroke strumming. Then ask to look at a slightly more expensive model...and play barre chords.Then when you get to the high end models, start shredding... or, you could just waste time staying at home and practicing...
Kinda funny. Start shredding!
 
Guitar Center moments

There was one occasion when this older dude, looked like a trashy Stephen Stills comes in and proceeds to strap on a guitar. Most posers like to sit, but this dude thought he was the shit. He starts playing and walking around (as far as the cable would stretch) and looking to see who is checking him out. His playing was not terrible, but he didn't need to put on a live concert in the middle of GC.

Another occasion was this guy checking out a really expensive Warwick bass. The sales guy plugs him into to this high end Ampeg rig and cranks up the volume. The guy starts flailing at the strings with his thumbs, forearms, elbows whatever. I am really not sure what he was doing but it just sounded like strings clunking against the fretboard. Me and my friend were watching from behind some amps and nearly pissed our pants.

So after about 3 minutes of this clunking sound at high volume the dude hands the bass back to the sales guy and says "I can't get a decent sound from this bass" :D I think it was then when I did piss myself!!!
 
Let me tell you a not so funny moment.

It was Guitarmageddon Saturday, meaning the Center was packed with theiving little mexicans and punk rock homos with nothing else to do but go to GC and not buy stuff. :D

And this guy starts sniffing around the fucking PA rigs, looking like a Fat Cher, wearing rags and smelling like piss and beer. And he's scaring the potential buyers out of the area, so Manager says: He Dan, your the biggest guy in the store, go sell him. (meaning get him out of our area with kindness)

Guy is looking at a JBL Sub. So i go over and hold my breaht, make a short greeting, ask him if he needs help. He says his name is John, and he would like to buy 4 30" subs. I actually laughed out loud. He kep looking down and staring at his feet, mumbling to himself, but i go through the motions and say that yes, we have 4 of those, and how will we be transporting them.
He says how come I dont want to ask about payment. I say i figure anybody who smells this bad and wants for subs is crazy, so no need to ask about cash. (i say this jokingly) He laughs and then pukes all over the floor. :eek:

A hot chick in black leather comes running over to help him saying John? are you okay? He says yeah im gonna go wait in the truck.

Hot leather says she will ring his purchase up and she pays with a Black AMEX made out to Elementree Records. 4 big blad bikers meet us in back to load the subs onto an F350, and before they left, one of 'em says to call him at such and such a number to set the gear up for them (for a nominal fee) I say ok.

Turns out i sold shit to John Davis of Korn, the morning after he fell off the wagon.
 
Holly shit, this teach us something: Never judge anyone for the way he looks, it could be the next rock superstar!
Just a little questions:
1. What does subs stand for? Subwoofer?
2. What does "he feel off the wagon" means?
I'm from Peru so I don't get all the idiomatic expression, lol... Thanks.
 
killthepixel said:
Holly shit, this teach us something: Never judge anyone for the way he looks, it could be the next rock superstar!
Just a little questions:
1. What does subs stand for? Subwoofer?
2. What does "he feel off the wagon" means?
I'm from Peru so I don't get all the idiomatic expression, lol... Thanks.

Sub = big o' samich
He fell off the wagon = he was on a wagon and fell off

:D
 
killthepixel said:
Holly shit, this teach us something: Never judge anyone for the way he looks, it could be the next rock superstar!
Just a little questions:
1. What does subs stand for? Subwoofer?
2. What does "he feel off the wagon" means?
I'm from Peru so I don't get all the idiomatic expression, lol... Thanks.

'he fell of the wagon' means he didn't make it, he had no success, ...
 
Play, but get wrong, the beginning of Pretty Woman - though thick with distortion & after swearing about the string tension ping ALL the strings against the fret board one at a time then complain about the trem being useless because it won't keep the thing in tune.
 
killthepixel said:
1. What does subs stand for? Subwoofer?
2. What does "he feel off the wagon" means?

1. Yeah he means a subwoofer. Unless JBL has recently entered the deli marketplace, in which case it means a sandwich :D
2. "falling off the wagon" is an expression about reverting to an old habit. If you quit drinking (for instance), then we say that you're "on the wagon". When somebody goes back to their habit, we call it "falling off the wagon".

It sounds like this fellow fell off the wagon with vigor to come in smelling like piss and beer, then vomiting on the showroom floor. Wow now THAT's being a rock star LOL
 
Tadpui said:
1. Yeah he means a subwoofer. Unless JBL has recently entered the deli marketplace, in which case it means a sandwich :D
2. "falling off the wagon" is an expression about reverting to an old habit. If you quit drinking (for instance), then we say that you're "on the wagon". When somebody goes back to their habit, we call it "falling off the wagon".

It sounds like this fellow fell off the wagon with vigor to come in smelling like piss and beer, then vomiting on the showroom floor. Wow now THAT's being a rock star LOL

An old expression for quitting drinking is/was "going on the water wagon"; "falling off the wagon" means starting up drinking again, usually in a more or less spectacular fashion.
 
My expressions aren't so much idiomatic as idiotmatic.
I fell on the wagon while eating a sub. unfortunately the shaggin' wagon was playing Doof Doof & the sub made the matress jump so badly I fell off the wagon while eating a Wagon Wheel (& my hasn't time, profit, inflation & multinationalism reduced their size to BITE SIZE?). I landed on my head so now I'm subdural haematomaed & into subhuman stasis. Guess I'll have a greater appreciation of Death Metal though.
 
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