alien--yeah--thats a good way of putting it! Writing and music are both theraputic and good for the soul. In our pure state, we are all creative beings and our creations can be like windows that we peer through to see ourselves, or parts of ourselves more clearly. Another analogy is that those creations are mirrors reflecting aspects of ourselves back to us.
I'm not sure this is relevant to somebody obsessed with making it huge, but is sure should be, I think. Hitting it big in music is about on par with going to the liquor store and buying lotto tickets hoping for the big payoff. There are a ton of talented people who will try and not make it and there are a ton of others who could make it but will never try. There are a lot of people who will create music for years just for self satisfaction or enjoyment. The route doesn't even matter, but anybody who gets involved in music and makes it a passion is going to attract similar energy.
Musical passion will influence the journey and lead us to unique situations and friendships--even business relationships--that would not or MAY not happen without the creative push. It will also alter our perceptions of ourselves as we come to one day view our own creations seemingly for the first time and ask, "Did I DO THAT?!" My best friends are almost all musicians. Coincidence?
Garry Sharp mentions that despite his success in writing (fiction, I assume Garry?) we are often at the mercy of the business that sells the product. DO you mind changing your verse or chorus melody? Is it OK if your favorite song is getting cut from the album in favor of something more commercial? What if you are in a band with your best friend and management wants him replaced with someone with more charisma and appeal? Well, these are all possible pitfalls of going for the brass ring. If you don't try for commercial success, these things never enter the equation, but--will you wonder 20 years later if you made a mistake by not trying? or refusing to cow tow to the powers that be.
I don't have any answers, really. My personal answer was to widen my pallete. I do stuff just for my own soul and I do stuff aimed at commercial markets too. I don't see any conflict with doing both, at least for myself. If something is getting too frustrating, it usually means that the game I'm playing is too small. Thus, I made a bigger game.
In the end, I think all that matters is that you can say you are proud of what you have created and that you know you have given it your all. The rest is a roll of the dice. Enjoy the ride and never let the ride make your life miserable.
, but I think my writing experience reinforces some of the points you all made.
). I could have gotten a cut but I didn't register the songs. I got a pile of copies that I equally shared with the musicians who helped me to record the songs (all fellow students) and I thought to just leave it at that.