Did you change this since i last listened? It seems you did. The hi hat doesnt seem to be ripping my ears open any more. Its still a bit thin and high end but its smoothed out alot.
And i hear the back up vocals more now. Its like you have a vocoder going. Sounds pretty cool

. But you dont like a robot.
You might not have changed a thing and it might be that my ears are just a little fresher now. I dunno. But it does sound a bit different.
I think you could fix those drums up a bit. At least i dont think you could make them much worse. Theres alot of high end in there thats above where it needs to be. Consider a high cut at about 14000KHz. Might not work but it might help smooth some stuff out with those drums and might make the snare stand out a little because you will be able to get a little more volume without the high hat ripping your head off. And i would personally add a bit of compression on the drum mix. I wouldnt squash it but enough to get that snare out a bit. Try doing a 2.5 decibal cut at 8KHz with a .5 Q if you have parametric. If graphic just make a pretty rounded out curce with 8Khz the center. Then boost at around 200Hz about 2dbs. maybe more with 1 Q. If it doesnt work to well there try a little higher at 250Hz.
What is it with drummers that think the only tone their drums produce are high frequencies and nothing else.
Anyway, might not work at all but thats what i would have tried first of all if i was trying to fix up those drums.
BTW i brought up the advice about not letting it get to her head because of personal experience

. Not because im an awesome parent

.
Danny