S
Slowjett
New member
Somthign I wrote this week and recorded tonight.
-josh
-josh
rayc
retroreprobate
Oh My Gosh - it's Josh,
I tried not to listen to the lyrics so I could get the overall sound & feel as well as the placement in the mix.
The intro is REALLY nice- the strumming is a bit of a let down after it. Needs you to continue the picking/part strum with a 2nd guitar strumming or preferebly a piano picking at the chords and a sustained guitar behind it.
2nd listen -The melody is very good and the voice suits everything really well though not the strumming and, I'm afraid, the lyrics. The latter are a distraction - the imagery & story don't come across to me.
I know I'm a mongrel, but how about running another set of words across the melody?
This has HEAPS of potential.
Cheers
rayC
I tried not to listen to the lyrics so I could get the overall sound & feel as well as the placement in the mix.
The intro is REALLY nice- the strumming is a bit of a let down after it. Needs you to continue the picking/part strum with a 2nd guitar strumming or preferebly a piano picking at the chords and a sustained guitar behind it.
2nd listen -The melody is very good and the voice suits everything really well though not the strumming and, I'm afraid, the lyrics. The latter are a distraction - the imagery & story don't come across to me.
I know I'm a mongrel, but how about running another set of words across the melody?
This has HEAPS of potential.
Cheers
rayC
S
Slowjett
New member
Cool thanks for the critique.
The lyrics wont be understood by most, as its about a blacksmith. I shoe horses for a liveing, so its more of a personal song. Also I just put it together real quick since I just wrote it. I do a new song every month for my website and thousands of craving fans. lol. I just record here in my room next to the loud computer =]
-josh
The lyrics wont be understood by most, as its about a blacksmith. I shoe horses for a liveing, so its more of a personal song. Also I just put it together real quick since I just wrote it. I do a new song every month for my website and thousands of craving fans. lol. I just record here in my room next to the loud computer =]
-josh
rayc
retroreprobate
Slow,
Now the lyrics make a better connection - I thought it was some sort of imagery/metaphor but it was out of my range.
It they were rapidly put together then the melody, actually the entire song, derserves you spending some more time crafting them from the original ideas into a completed piece.
As I said HEAPS of potential so go with it.
Cheers
rayC
Now the lyrics make a better connection - I thought it was some sort of imagery/metaphor but it was out of my range.
It they were rapidly put together then the melody, actually the entire song, derserves you spending some more time crafting them from the original ideas into a completed piece.
As I said HEAPS of potential so go with it.
Cheers
rayC
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