Hiding purchases from the wife....

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32-20-Blues said:
Back on topic, I don't have a wife, so the only thing that keeps me from buying guitars is the fact that I have no money.
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+1



Although this winter I've been nice to myself. Christmas and birthday both led to me getting a new sound card and one of those new Alesis Control Pad drum MIDI controllers (whenever they decide they want to release them). This does wonders to paying off all these student loans though.
 
every now and then a young musician will ask me what is the best thing they can do to "further their career." My very first response is, don't get married and have children.
 
Myriad_Rocker said:
You don't read the fine print, do you? This doesn't apply to marriage.
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That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
 
But seriously, I am extremely lucky in this department. I always check with her on large purchases, and to this date she has never tried to dissuade me. She says, "You work hard, we're doing OK, you deserve it, I can't wait to hear what you do with it, etc." She is a graphic designer; she does all my band's posters and flyers, and she's working on the art for our CD. She comes to all our gigs and drags her friends along.

We've been together since 1973. I am a lucky man in ways that I cannot even talk about here.
 
There's no way to hide this stuff. It takes up half the living room.

Sell something??? Are you kidding??? Maybe one of the kids, but they're not-so-charming teenagers now so I think we missed the high-dollar window of opportunity there.

No, I just have to tone it down this year because the last couple years were full-speed ahead on the studio. The house is starting to show it's age (12) so I gotta start replacing appliances and water heaters and stuff like that. :(

But if somebody has about $5grand they don't need it would go a long ways towards finishing this mess over here. :D :D :D
 
I do this all the time. My wife is fantastic and never gives me any real grief, but she will never see that a couple hundred dollars spent every couple months is the same as the 20-50 a week she spends on clothes and decorative items, considering i never really buy anything other than mics, instruments, and stuff for my woodworking shop. We just bought a house this year, and there rea ALWAYS big project things that need to be done that cost $$. Budget be damned, she always can see how the money i save from my spending money ought to go to some house expense. Since she never has any left, that isn't an option for her :)

Lately, i have been forcing myself to take time to get good deals on new stuff and to buy (relatively) good stuff so that it has resale value, so i am slowly building up some degree of equity with my obsessiveness.

Daav
 
My wife works fulltime and I'm a "at home dad" I make money teaching a bit, playing out and from recording. So long as I don't use household money my wife doesn't ask about what I buy. She plays too so last year I got her a new flute and a piccolo so I'm good for a while.
 
It's pretty hard to get anything past my wife. Especially when I'm on her case to cut down on trips to Pier One. I have to clear it with her first. The budget is getting tighter.

Right now I'm selling a Bowflex so I can buy Sonar and she will get whatever money is left. :)
 
My wife and I have a really good understanding about all this.

Basically, I can buy anything I want, if she gets something worth at least 10 times that amount.

While that formula may seem lopsided to some, it's what has kept me happily married for over 20 years. :D
 
jpw23 said:
My wife never gives me a hard time over purchases...these are her own words..' you work hard for your money, spend it on what you want" that said, I do feel obligated to buy her stuff too, the upside of this is, she likes all the same things I do...fishing poles, bowling balls, guns, knives chain saws.....hell, she can skin a deer quicker than any man!
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My kind of woman.
 
jpw23 said:
... guns, knives chain saws.....hell, she can skin a man quicker than any deer!
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Um... She must be an interesting lady... *gulp* :eek: :D
 
Interesting thread!

I'm fortunate that I've never had to sneak gear in.

Since I have always gigged and made money from sessions, writing jingles, etc. I'm able to purchase gear from money earned with gear - so the wife can't really offer much resistance (although she's very cool and would likely not give me a hard time even if the gear didn't pay for itself - as long as the house is paid for).

Actually, she watches the classifieds, etc. and she will tell me if she finds a Strat for sale (or whatever). She's actually starting to understand what various guitars. drums, etc should sell for. Recently she knew I was thinking about getting a Seagull guitar (but not many area stores carry Seagull). When she saw a local guitar shop had a "sale on Seagull", she talked me into checking it out (I already own a lot of guitars - and didn't really need another one). Well, I now own a Seagull.

We've been married since 1976 - so she's figured out how to co-habitate with a house full of gear :D
 
...ah the wife and the gear....never the twain shall meet :D
In my case, it created real problems. She was my best/worst critic when it came to my songs, but at the same time, she could not bring herself to say 'yes', no matter how well-thought through and financially responsible I tried to be in presenting a purchase.

Now, we are not talking adding another guitar to a collection of 20; we are talking basics here: a good digital piano so I could get back into playing, and a multitrack so I could go further than my 8-track allowed.
In both cases, I would stew for a while after getting 'no', then go out and buy it and just have it front and center when she came home, with the attitude of: "so there, now what are you going to do about it?" I know it sounds awful, but it became that kind of power struggle.
We are separated, but not divorced. I hope that can change. The gear didn't do it, and I think by now that part is something she can live with. And I do miss her input on my music, among many things.

Best,
C.
 
You people are despicable. Hiding gear and not telling about it.

You're supposed to put it in plain site with the rest of your junk so it's camouflaged in the pile. Then when questioned you point to some cheap item in the pile and say "That cheap piece of junk has been there forever". Plausible deniability.
 
I make my purchases with gig money, not the day-job paycheck, so the only thing I have to be concerned about is a place to put it.

But a guitar player in a band I was once in had to buy stuff on the sly. I just can't imagine having to do it like that.
 
My wife doesn't care how much I spend on gear. She cares more about how much of the house the gear takes up. :eek:

I can't understand it. How can anyone NOT like the look of mike cables running through the house like a giant black spider web? And guitars... what looks better than guitars all over? Tell me. Am I right?
 
My wife has purchased all my gear for me.... :D

And I bought her an acoustic guitar for Christmas a few years ago, and a Mandolin this past Christmas.... :D
 
Cosmic said:
...I would stew for a while after getting 'no', then go out and buy it and just have it front and center when she came home, with the attitude of: "so there, now what are you going to do about it?" I know it sounds awful, but it became that kind of power struggle.

We are separated...
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I'm not surprised. You are right, the gear didn't cause it, but how both of you handled the dispute contributed to it, and my guess is that it was only one of many similar struggles. Some counseling could help, or maybe a referee. When two people share a common economy, you've got to find a way for both to have their say in the allocation of funds and coming to a solution which is acceptable to both parties.
 
we both have our own hobbies which have their own respective "cash outflow", and neither of us gets on the other about the related purchases. i dare say she probably spends more on her hobbies than i do--it's just that her purchases are $40 here and $60 there (and are pretty regular), whereas i tend to do a couple purchases per year at the $500-1000 mark.

the "trick" is that we've got a joint checking account where 2/3 of our paychecks go and we each maintain separate accounts which holds our "play money". as long as there are no problems paying the household bills, etc., i never get crap about what i might come home with or use my money on.

my wife grew up in a household full of music and players, so she understands. it also helps that our toddler is showing lots of enthusiasm and aptitude for it as well, so i can actually write off new (or used) instruments as "investments" and "hand me downs".

it also helps that i've been teaching her about the various aspects of music production, guitar sounds, etc., and she's starting to understand that you can't get the sound of a Les Paul out of a strat. she's learned to identify the sound of compression and autotune, so i feel like i've accomplished at least SOMETHING.

the only thing i've "snuck" into the house was a Tampa i bought from TKingen here 18 months ago. i bought it within a week of our son being born and money was a little tight, but i HAD to get it. it just "appeared" in the rack in the basement. she saw it a few months later and asked "is that new?" (hard to miss the glowing VU's), and i said "eh, i've had it for a little while", which wasn't a lie. :D

the only thing i've gotten crap about was my midiman keyboard/midi controller. she didn't understand why i needed a keyboard when she already had one that was "perfectly fine". and it IS perfectly fine.....except that it doesn't have midi capabilities and i can't control VSTs with it. i STILL get crap about that damn $60 keyboard.

actually, given the money i've put into the studio and assorted gear (and that which she's put into it via christmas, birthday and random gifts--she's bought me a Martin, a mandolin, an SP B1 and an epi valve jr), she gets REALLY mad when i refer to it as a "ghetto level studio". :p

as with everything else in marriage, communication and compromise is the key.

i remain convinced that Thomas Jefferson was talking about keeping the little lady happy when he talked about "Domestic Tranquility".


cheers,
wade
 
gear ??

i have bought a few things w/out checking w/ the wife .... do you know what is sounds like when a frying pan is bounced off the back of your head ???? .......... i dont buy things w/out checking w/ her anymore .... what i do is make her think it would be a good idea if i/we had this ?? she sings in our band so i can usualy lead her to belive that we actualy need what ever i might want ..... i had borrowed a 12 string acoustic from a buddy for a few months she realy liked having it around..... now she thinks i should get one .............. he he :D
 
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