Found this old song

  • Thread starter Thread starter Mr Blues
  • Start date Start date
Good melody & singing. the guitar was a little hesitant at 1st.
I think the oohs & melody point to a very good secular ballad. Have you considered that option?
As such it would fit into the Between The Lines Janis Ian style.
I reckon you should rebuild this using the skills you've been developing.
It's certainly worth the effort.
 
Yep - rework it a little. there's some boom in the guitar that could be tamed and the middle strings don't seem to get much action.
The melody is strong & whilst I respect your gospel leanings I think you could get across to a bigger audience with either a less overtly religious song or a completely secular one,
For example:

I’ve just reread the message that you left for me,
I keep it with me almost everywhere I go.
I can’t believe that you could feel that my affections were not real
I read the words and still they cut me to the core.

If you look inside your heart was I ever really there?
Is the place I occupied filled up with someone new?
I can’t believe you could go without having let me know,
Just this little note you stuck beneath our door.

You wrote that you did not believe my love
Time has lead me to believe you were the one untrue
Plans we made were obviously only mine
Couldn’t you have owned up to what you were about to do?

I just walked into the house that was to be our home,
Since you left it’s just a place for me to stay.
& though I feel your presence here it’s still your absence that I fear,
I don’t know how to fill the minutes anymore.

I’ve just reread the message that you left for me,
I read it almost everywhere I am.
I can’t believe that on my arm you were capable of such harm
I read the words and still they cut me to the core.
 
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Hi rayc
I must say I like the way you come up with lyrics . You are also very talented.
I did a gospel song entitled Lord I long to Be' . I was singing just covers songs one day when i was busking and a film director showed interest and wanted to hear some of my orignals.

I do plan to write secular songs to one soon as well.
Anyway back to the story I sent him some of my originals he came back to me and wanted this song Lord I long to Be' but wanted to change the lyrics to a more secular song.

I thought about it long and hard and said I would be happy to write a new song rather then change that one . He wasn't too happy and didn't get back to me.
Although I maybe lost a good opportunity i still feel it was right for me not to change that song.
some of these gospel songs came out of a painful time as I was having and I felt they were inspired from above.

But I do plan to write secular love songs too and will post some soon.
I appriate your input and advice. My heart is too do a full acoustic gospel album but they will also be other songs on a seperate project

Dave
 
I'll second the thoughts that the intro guitar is a little sloppy. I also don't care for the vocal reverb (but I like dry vocals so whatever).

Since it's just vocals and guitar, shouldn't be too hard to reproduce and make it really tight.
 
Quite an emotion tune.
The vocals are soothing and the guitar really complements it.
 
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