First track on here from me. Listen and critique.

  • Thread starter Thread starter NickSpringfield
  • Start date Start date
You need anger management for real. Cussing on records is an art and placed in the right place can get the point across. the trick is to do it and sound good so that people either identify with what you are say or feel the same emotion about it. but cussing every 3rd word just dont appeal. you can get away with it if you have a FUNKY ass beat that people cant stop listening to like 2short but other than that it just aint happenning. Keep at it tho
 
Nick,

I gotta agree with SoundBoy, way too much swearing and not at all done in a tasteful way. You use "F***" way too much.

Getting past that, the flow and delivery need some work. You have a few lines that could be alright if flowed properly, but right now the flow sounds very old school and the delivery is too basic. Change the rhythm of your lines and your vocal tone in different sections to maintain the listeners attention. This gets very monotonous.

Stray
 
Aight guys, thanks for the feedback. Usually if I just let myself go, I get really violent, and that's basically what happened there. I'm mainly in the horrorcore genre anyway, but I loved this beat and hadda do something over it. The track was recorded in one take and I know some of the lines weren't exaclty perfect, but it was only for fun anyway. I'd like to hear more opinions on it, so if anyone else would like to tell me I suck, feel free... and feel free to tell me I'm awesome. Either or...

-Springfield
 
You need some work. Listen to some cage/copywrite/necro/ill bill stuff, they're good at horrorcore (copy doesn't do it, but they go together well). SHIIIITTTTY chorus (like necro). You ripped the beat so no props there--in fact, negative: it's too light, needs to be deeper, scary, if you're going for horrorcore. Be INVENTIVE.
 
It'd be better if the beat had some dark guitar riffs.

And as said here it is a bit on the monotone side.

You should try to make people believe that you believe in what you're saying dramatically - where you're saying I'm an asshole, a prick, etc. you should shout the swearing and have an extra recording of you shouting it to get the violent emotions in it.
 
Alright guys. First off, to whoever said the chorus was shitty, there was no chorus. So obviously, it couldn't have been shitty. To abyss, you got a good point with the emotion and all. But in all reality, I was just fucking around, stole a beat and wrote to it. That shit was on my mind so I said it. Recorded it in one take and that was good. I'm not trying to scapegoat, but it was only for fun. I'll be posting some more of my real shit up soon.

Thanks to all who responded. Ya gave me a good light to work on..

-Springfield
 
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