Yea vocal quality isnt that good, nice flow, good lyrics, good rhythm. Some words are not clear seems as though you're mumbling through the fast parts. Still rap with a quick flow but be heard articulate each word even when rapping fast thats what makes you good. I say this to 1,000 young rappers and only like 1 or 2 come through you got to have passion and life Brian even when your doing heart felt raps like this.
Over all you have to bring some life some character you sound monotone and boring, no life, your rapping but nothing is felt you have to make someone believe what you are saying. Listen to Andree 3000 on
this song with TI (starts at 3:19) Now you have the same flavor and flow pattern as Andre in your song but listen to the different characters he brings out and how he elevates his voice up & down at certain parts it brings life to the track, feeling everything is not monotone. When your telling an exciting story you dont tell it monotone you raise your voice at exciting parts and lower it at me-lo parts of the story. Do that when you rap and you will not just be heard you will be felt big difference.
You can rap tho thats the important thing.
(And thank god you dont have some silly rap name like the "White Knight or some shit" Keep your artist name as Brian Armstrong)