First Rap Song, Help out a Rookie!

B

BTBrian

New member
Just posted my first rap song, let me know what you guys think and what I can work on! The vocal quality isn't good because I recorded without a mic and with essentially no mixing (only added a bit of reverb) so I'm mostly looking for comments on the lyricism, flow etc.. Thanks!

What's Up with this World - Brian Armstrong
 
BTBrian said:
Just posted my first rap song, let me know what you guys think and what I can work on! The vocal quality isn't good because I recorded without a mic and with essentially no mixing (only added a bit of reverb) so I'm mostly looking for comments on the lyricism, flow etc.. Thanks!

What's Up with this World - Brian Armstrong
Click to expand...

My advice to you is: Just keep practicing man, it's not too bad for your first song. Is this an original by you?
Learn to speed up your flow by practicing some facial exercises (to pick up speed and say the words coherently). And keep practicing until you can't practice anymore, and practice rhyming words on beat up to speed. Feel the words and the beat while your rapping, and remember to sing, not talk!
Also, practice raps from the pros. Grab one of their songs and get to it!
And consider taking up vocal lessons. Get a vocal coach or some lessons on Youtube if you can't afford voice lessons.

These are a few tips I think will definitely help you out.
I'm no expert in this genre, but good luck man!
-DR
 
Yea vocal quality isnt that good, nice flow, good lyrics, good rhythm. Some words are not clear seems as though you're mumbling through the fast parts. Still rap with a quick flow but be heard articulate each word even when rapping fast thats what makes you good. I say this to 1,000 young rappers and only like 1 or 2 come through you got to have passion and life Brian even when your doing heart felt raps like this.

Over all you have to bring some life some character you sound monotone and boring, no life, your rapping but nothing is felt you have to make someone believe what you are saying. Listen to Andree 3000 on this song with TI (starts at 3:19) Now you have the same flavor and flow pattern as Andre in your song but listen to the different characters he brings out and how he elevates his voice up & down at certain parts it brings life to the track, feeling everything is not monotone. When your telling an exciting story you dont tell it monotone you raise your voice at exciting parts and lower it at me-lo parts of the story. Do that when you rap and you will not just be heard you will be felt big difference.

You can rap tho thats the important thing. (And thank god you dont have some silly rap name like the "White Knight or some shit" Keep your artist name as Brian Armstrong)
 
Thank you guys a ton for your replies! I really appreciate all of the input, it was awesome.

DrumRookie said:
My advice to you is: Just keep practicing man, it's not too bad for your first song. Is this an original by you?
Learn to speed up your flow by practicing some facial exercises (to pick up speed and say the words coherently). And keep practicing until you can't practice anymore, and practice rhyming words on beat up to speed. Feel the words and the beat while your rapping, and remember to sing, not talk!
Also, practice raps from the pros. Grab one of their songs and get to it!
And consider taking up vocal lessons. Get a vocal coach or some lessons on Youtube if you can't afford voice lessons.

These are a few tips I think will definitely help you out.
I'm no expert in this genre, but good luck man!
-DR
Click to expand...

Thank you!! I did not make the beat, the producer is credited in the description but I did write all the lyrics from scratch.

What exactly do you mean by practicing facial expressions? I agree vocal lessons would be good, I don't have the budget for actual lessons but I will search for some on Youtube.



jaynm26 said:
Yea vocal quality isnt that good, nice flow, good lyrics, good rhythm. Some words are not clear seems as though you're mumbling through the fast parts. Still rap with a quick flow but be heard articulate each word even when rapping fast thats what makes you good. I say this to 1,000 young rappers and only like 1 or 2 come through you got to have passion and life Brian even when your doing heart felt raps like this.

Over all you have to bring some life some character you sound monotone and boring, no life, your rapping but nothing is felt you have to make someone believe what you are saying. Listen to Andree 3000 on this song with TI (starts at 3:19) Now you have the same flavor and flow pattern as Andre in your song but listen to the different characters he brings out and how he elevates his voice up & down at certain parts it brings life to the track, feeling everything is not monotone. When your telling an exciting story you dont tell it monotone you raise your voice at exciting parts and lower it at me-lo parts of the story. Do that when you rap and you will not just be heard you will be felt big difference.

You can rap tho thats the important thing. (And thank god you dont have some silly rap name like the "White Knight or some shit" Keep your artist name as Brian Armstrong)
Click to expand...

Yea I'm out of town and won't have access to my mic for another week or two and figured if I had to record on my computers built in input that I might as well not worry about mixing or anything either, besides I was too eager to record my first song and get some opinions on it! I agree that I was mumbling in a couple of the faster parts (and they weren't even that fast, sheesh) and need to work on that. I definitely rap very monotone as well.. do you have any advice for working on that like specific exercises I could try or is it just something I need to work out on my own? I'm guessing the second.. Oh and I'm glad you like the decision to not use an emcee name!

Thanks again you two, I may re-record this in a couple weeks with a better mic after I have worked on some of the things you two mentioned, if I do and it's significantly better I will repost it here to see what you guys think!
 
BTBrian said:
I definitely rap very monotone as well.. do you have any advice for working on that like specific exercises I could try or is it just something I need to work out on my own?
Click to expand...
Nope there is no exercises to bring life to your tracks but try this SCREAM as loud for as you can for approx. 30 sec. before your next rap and laugh uncontrollably (It may sound dumb but I am being serious it helps shy singers & rappers break out their shell when Im trying to work with them.) You have to PUT life in your track did you hear Andre 3000 how he brought personality to his verse here I'll show you another example Jay Z - Dig A Hole Do this exercise put your hand in front of you flat have it round "eye level" when jay'z start rapping when you feel his voice level and elevation and energy is dropping lower your hand and when you feel is voice elevating and energy is rising raise your hand. Most important when he raises & lowers listen to the words he is saying he creates that mood with what he is saying. Look up his lyrics and chart down when he raises and lowers his vocal elevation to create character. Note you wont get it the first time you hear it your gonna have to listen a few times to get it and feel it.
 
jaynm26 said:
Nope there is no exercises to bring life to your tracks but try this SCREAM as loud for as you can for approx. 30 sec. before your next rap and laugh uncontrollably (It may sound dumb but I am being serious it helps shy singers & rappers break out their shell when Im trying to work with them.) You have to PUT life in your track did you hear Andre 3000 how he brought personality to his verse here I'll show you another example Jay Z - Dig A Hole Do this exercise put your hand in front of you flat have it round "eye level" when jay'z start rapping when you feel his voice level and elevation and energy is dropping lower your hand and when you feel is voice elevating and energy is rising raise your hand. Most important when he raises & lowers listen to the words he is saying he creates that mood with what he is saying. Look up his lyrics and chart down when he raises and lowers his vocal elevation to create character. Note you wont get it the first time you hear it your gonna have to listen a few times to get it and feel it.
Click to expand...

Ok. Thanks a lot jay! I will work on it
 
I only skimmed the comments, but the beat is nice (props if you made it), just make the vocals louder and more up front and then experiment with some different effects.
 
You have an idea in your song. That's good! Now, work on your arrangement! Rap more convincingly, louder and change the rhythm. Rap somewhere faster, somewhere slower. Practice on your rhythm flow. Use metronome. Take Eminem, as example. Learn from him:)
 
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