Feedback please-this is in audio

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jibran

DC's Finest
Please give me your opinions on my flow/lyrics; if you need a more high quality file, PM me with your e-mail and I'll send it to you.

My Who's Next Online page

I am aware that the recordings are bad quality; they were recorded on a ten dollar mic and a Yamaha MG10/2 mixer; bad equipment and even worse mixing skill.

Thanks a lot,

The Deen
 
First man nuff respect we have all been where you are before.

The first song "Fleetin standards" I couldnt really listen to the recording was kinda bad the second one was a whole lot better. My first advice would be to invest in a pop filter or get a hangar and some panty hose that will lower the bomb in your voice and allow you to hear what your trying to say.

Now the second song I listen to for the most part was the "The Uprising".

Lyrics: You sound like you have alot of good stuff to say. On some positive stuff feeling what you trying to do so keep at it.

Your flow styles is a little inconsistent you have to settle on a pattern if your writing. This sound more like free style than written because free sytle usually doesnt stay on the same pattern. If it is then I would love to hear more written stuff. If it is written like I said settle on a pattern depending on the beat and stick with it you will make you alot easier to listen too because what you have to say should be heard.
 
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Thanks a lot for the advice; I'll put that in effect immediately.

I was going to get a pop filter.

Thanks again,

The Deen
 
yo,
imma be brutally honest, because i would hope for the same, its the only way to grow. So dont take offense to anything i say, it's just one mans opinion...

lyrically, your deffinetly on the right track.
it's good to see someone who has more to talk about the money etc...
some of the lyrics were a little basic and some were great. your certainly not bad now, but you also have room for improvement (everyone does, you can never stop improving). i also noticed you flipping things other people have already, try to stay away from that. (i only caught this like once or twice, so its really no big deal, just something to watch for).

delivery...
this is the part you need to work on the most for now IMO.
the first thing i noticed was the lack of passion. you sounded like you were scared of waking somebody up when you recorded these songs.
You HAVE to put emotion, feeling, and energy into the recording if you want others to feel it like you did writting it.

You also got off beat quite a few times.
you have to be cut-throat and make sure all your lines fit in the beat.
cutting lines, and making changes is a time consuming part of writting, but it has to be done.
you dont have to sacrifice content neccesarily, but you have to spend a lot of time thinking of ways to say it, so it stays on rythum.

dont think of recording a song as 'putting lyrics OVER a beat'.
think of it as 'putting lyrics IN a beat.
ride the beat, dont walk after it.
think of your voice as an instrument.
follow the snares, those are the 'metronomes' so to speak, while your writting.

production...
the others on this board will be able to help you out a lot more than I in this department.
off the bat though, its clear that the vocals are too loud.
i agree with investing in a pop-filter. i just recently got one, makes a big difference.
it also sounded like you were really close to the mic. try to ease back off it a little. this will help the clarity.

like i said man, dont take offense to anything i said. im just trying to help out.
i easily could have dropped compliments aswell, because i definetly have good things to say also, but those wont help you, and thats not why you started this thread.
Your certainly on the right track man, keep it moving.

also, my bad for being dodgy with the jigsaw beat, i will try to get it to you asap, been really busy. im barely on these boards anymore.

.peace.
 
That's aight (Jigsaw beat)

I appreciate the suggestions; however, I need some clarification.

What do you mean by "flipping things over"?

Also, how would you suggest putting passion into my delivery?

Thanks,


The Deen
 
The flipping I think he was referring to was "You saying something that was along the same line as something that was already said". Try to be more on the original side of things. I don't have too many negative things to say. But I just encourage you to keep that hunger. Good looking out the way you paid homeage to Ray Charles in your influences, you're headed in the right direction!
 
yeah ^ thats what i meant.
i can't remeber the 2 lines off hand, but one was "my momma always said",
ive heard a lot of people say that. its just a matter of taste though.

putting passion into it...

record like you rap in your living room when nobodys home and the music is really loud.
be energetic, sound like you mean what your saying.
dont talk over a beat, rap over a beat.

also, feel free to tell me to fuck off.
theres no right and wrong way to emcee.
im just throwing some ideas at you, some new stuff to play around with.
at the end of the day, if your happy with the song, thats all that matters.

.peace.
 
Like Trump said, keep the hunger, but I agree that it did sound like you were trying not to wake someone up.
 
Like Trump said, keep the hunger, but I agree that it did sound like you were trying not to wake someone up.

To tell the truth, I was; the recording was done in the middle of the night-I didn't wanna wake anyone up. I recorded some more ish and I'm putting that up soon.
 
jibran said:
To tell the truth, I was; the recording was done in the middle of the night-I didn't wanna wake anyone up. I recorded some more ish and I'm putting that up soon.

Ya, you have some good things ta say and I like your topics. When I first heard the tracks the first thing that caught me was your delivery and you weren't confidant. I think if you recorded it in the day and didn't have to worry about waking someone, it would be a different story. Also, the vocals are just a little louder then the beat. But, I feel you with what your working with... Be creative and work with what you got... ;)
 
i just peeped them, the same problems people pointed out are still there.
 
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