Your meters are not crazy...
I think what may be going on has to do with the way you play. When you're doing your test runs for levels and sound you're playing at one volume. When you actually get to putting down the track, you switch from "engineer" mode to "drummer" mode. When you're playing for a take, you're not thinking about hitting the drums at a consistent llevel, you're playing a song! This causes some hits to be stronger, some to be weaker. Overcome this by practice: finding that happy medium.
As far as which fader to adjust, I'm not sure it will matter either way.
I think what may be going on has to do with the way you play. When you're doing your test runs for levels and sound you're playing at one volume. When you actually get to putting down the track, you switch from "engineer" mode to "drummer" mode. When you're playing for a take, you're not thinking about hitting the drums at a consistent llevel, you're playing a song! This causes some hits to be stronger, some to be weaker. Overcome this by practice: finding that happy medium.
As far as which fader to adjust, I'm not sure it will matter either way.