"Excellent Girl" - comments welcome

  • Thread starter Thread starter alibish
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Initially, some of the "SSSS's" are hitting me a bit harsh. Nice reverse intro to the lead.

The acapella into is bugging me a tad for some reason. It's not pitch, I think it's all the prominence of the falsetto parts. Like maybe try (TRY) taking one of the lower parts and bumping it up some so the that the falsetto parts are more supporting?

That's all the nits I have, really. Excellent song. (pun intended).
 
Really nice song. Right up my alley! The vibe is the winner here and some fun lyrics.

I liked the mix except maybe the mud. It worked OK for this style song, but I think with less muddy guitars it could shine.

Also, the chorus melody rocked. Just what a song like this needed. The verse melody seemed a little forced in places, but I soon forgot that after the first chorus.

Just an excellent pop tune!
 
Hey man,
.very nice tune indeed. I like the vocs in this. ...especially the verses.... ...clean and pristine. I read the comment re: the modelled guits. All I can say is I feel your pain. You know the answer... ...git yerself an amp. ...and again, Im withcha.
Re the mix: Nice production. The only thing that really stuck out to me was a possible excess of verb usage. Nobody else mentioned this so maybe its just my listening source. I like the heavy verb during the verses where there is space for it, but during the chorus, etc. where there is more going on, it seems to be the culprit (in my ears) that muddying things up a bit. It also seems to drop those sections back into the distance a bit.
Very nice tune alibish!
g
 
The only nit I can pick in the overall quality is a grittiness or something that comes out in spots. It might be encoding artifacts I'm hearing... but this seems to be a high enough quality VBR file. I wouldn't expect the artifacts to be that pronounced except in the highs. Wish I could be of more help pinpointing what I'm hearing. But I'm reaching here, this is a great quality DIY recording.

Performance and mix fit the tune well. Writing... I can be a sucker for catchy pop songs, and I like this one a lot.

Big Star? #1 Record and Radio City (the first 2 albums) are being sold as a single CD, last I checked. Worth every penny to pick it up, IMO. Lyrics get a bit cheesy at times, but I forgive 'em.
 
Chris - great to hear from you again. Really glad you like this one.

Yeah, I noticed a lot of "brain dart" sibilance. I've toned it down as much as I can, but any more and the clarity started suffering. I'm sure a lot of it is my vocal technique, but the lyrics are also pretty "s"-heavy!

Glad you noticed the reverse guitar - I thought it was cool. :)

Good suggestion re the acapella bits - I'll give that a try.

lynx - thank you very much for listening. Sorry it doesn't do much for you! Any thoughts on how I could improve the mix?

skids - thanks for listening. I agree about the mud. I'm away from home at the moment, but as soon as I get back I'll try cleaning up the guitars a bit.

I think the problem with the verse melody is that there are lots of words in a short space of time. I cut out a few, but it's still pretty crowded. :(

Thanks for the cool comments.

Guernica - great to hear from you again, and thanks for listening and being so nice.

Re the guitars - yep, I know what the solution is. I'll need to move house first, though...

Really good thought re the reverb on the choruses - I think you might be on to something! As I said before, I've got a lot to learn about how to use reverb properly. I'll try cutting it back for the next mix.

pglewis - thanks for listening, and I'm really glad you liked the song.

The grittiness might be the limiter/waveshaper I used to "warm up" the main vocal track (Silverspike RubyTube). It gives stuff a slightly grainy sound. But I like it! :) Mind you, there are definitely MP3 artifacts on the reverb tails, so you never know.

I'm sitting in an Internet cafe with an excellent selection of second-hand CDs and apparently they've got some Big Star. It's shopping time!

Cheers

AB
 
hey, nice to see you again alibish. i like that opening vocal thing. cool reverb.

only constructive comment i think is that the lead vocal sounds just a tad hot.

i love the harmonies though. those sit right in the mix.
 
Just listened to your tune.

I thought it was great! I'd be chuffed if I were able to reach the same standards. I like the way the guitar solo starts. Sounds like backwards guitar.

Thanks for sharing that with us.

Danny
 
erichenryus - thank you very much, and great to hear from you again. How are you?

I think the vocal thing might be RubyTube again - I tend to be a bit liberal with the limiter.

Danny Chung - thank you very much for taking the time to listen and post, and I'm chuffed you like the tune. The start of the solo is backwards guitar - glad you liked it.

Cheers

AB
 
LOL

Head and shoulders above the last tune you put up here, and that was a good one. That one talked about being a kid. This one talks about being in a relationship. Both nailed their subject matter. This one could be on the same album, but more people would like it/dance to it/sing along with it.

LOL "That's okay cuz we've got two stereos"


Please continue to assess your partner more on the basis of her musical taste than:

1 the size of her bosom

2 her taste in clothes or non-GM foods

3 her background


Feel free to assess your partner on the basis of:

1 how you feel about her

2 her ability to trigger good songs that you write

3 compassion


That vocal at the beginning sounds like you're taking the piss a bit, but when the guitars come in, it gets all sincere. Your vocal balances the sincerity, as do the lyrics.

See, it works. It comes across as a really fond expression of her. Have you ever seen a Rembrandt painting called something like "The Jewish Bride"? I saw it years ago and liked it, and heard about it again on the beeb today. Your song gives me the same sort of feel as that painting.

I'm into EQ in mixes these days. Yours sounds great.
 
Damn! I was humming your tune afterwards when I was washing the greens for dinner. The chorus is a definite hook.

Danny
 
Damn, great chorus..

soooo so catchy.. this would do really well in an indie film or something. I like how the english accent pokes through in the vox, very cool.


The song is very FUN as well, which is good.



Hey i just realized this song has very strong "WILDCARD" it's like the Anaheim angels. the whole equals more than the sum of the parts
 
dobro - hi again. I loved your post - it's a work of art in itself.

Also, thanks for the relationship advice! ;)

Glad you liked the balance - as I said before I can't do 100% lovey-dovey so I have to put a wee edge into it. But I'm really glad it comes across the right way, 'cos I love her lots.

I don't know the painting, but I'll check it out. Also, if anyone else would like to compare my songs to Rembrandt paintings, go right ahead!

Great to hear from you again dobro. I'm still listening to and loving your album.

Danny Chung - :)

Khompewtur - thank you very much for listening and posting, and it's great that you like the song. Plus that's my first ever "wildcard" - cool. :)

But one thing - it's a SCOTTISH accent! :mad: :D :D

Cheers

AB
 
"But one thing - it's a SCOTTISH accent!"

Och - ya pur wee thing, you. :D
 
Ahhh man, i can't tell which part of the U.K. whut me bein a Yank and all.

"Frreeeeeedoooom"
 
nice Ali, very nice

yup, I have been listning to this a few times man. Enjoying your voice a lot. There is a lyric were you kindof giggle, i think. Enjoyed that. We will go for a Pint!

Erland
 
dobro, Khompewtur - :)

erland - thank you - it's great to know you're listening, and that you're enjoying the song.

PS I didn't get your PM.

Cheers

AB
 
Hehe....I liked this a lot. Nicely done. It did seem a little muddy over all, but hell, I'd be happy to achieve that kind of muddy :D. I would say too drums need to come up a little.

I really like this. There is something about 70's ish type pop tunes that just beat the hell out of the pop stuff out today. :D

Was that, like a German accent or something? ;) :D. I love it.

John Scott <----- (note last name) :D
 
Three Thumbs Up!

Hey Ali (?)

I downloaded "Excellent Girl", listened to it and then downloaded all your other songs :) Great stuff. I especially dig "Chase Me Down The Street", it has that bouncy but bittersweet quality I've always liked about Scottish Indie Pop. I won't comment on the recording on any of the songs as (a) I'm not qualified and (b) it sounded fine to me.
 
Jagular - German? GERMAN? No, it's bloody Sco... Oh wait, now I see. ;)

Thanks for listening. I'm really glad you like the song. I'm going to try and clean up the mud a bit for the next mix. And the drums will come up a bit.

Mark7 - thank you for the cool comments - it's a major compliment that you took the time to listen to my other stuff, and it means a lot that you like it.

Cheers

AB
 
Indeed I did. And if you ever fancy getting together for a collab I'm game! (note: there's a song of mine on Nowhere Radio should you wish to hear my efforts)
 
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