Good effort. Very Silver Sun harmonies in there, and that's a big compliment. I think it needs another distorted rhythm guitar in there to fill up the space as the acoustic leaves some holes. Not an over the top one, just something to connect the guitar to the bass and drums. I could hear another one in there (as well as the solo one) so maybe just bringing that one up a bit would do it. The lyrics are fun and clever, but I think they could be condensed. They sound hard to fit into all the lines sometimes. It's easier to pare back than to add so I think you have more than enough. Just remove the joining words and make it easier to sing, hit the rhymes and get your breath. Nice one.