December's challenge - Joseph

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Hi all,

I began working on Dave's challenge a few days ago. I initiated the process by selecting a theme from Dave's three categories. I chose the topic, "my first home".

Next, I decided what type of theme I'd like to use to portray my thoughts about my first home and decided whether the song should be a fast, medium, or slow-paced song. With this in mind, I developed a working title and the main emotional idea that defines the song.

I worked about four to five hours a day for three days composing the music and creating a full backing track, which I finished this morning. Like some of you, I always begin with the music to the chorus first and work on the lyrics to the song last.

After I was satisfied with the chorus and the instrumentation, I crafted a portion of the completed chorus into an intro section. Next, I created the music for the verses. Finally, I create the music for the bridge.

Next, I mixed the different parts and produced the demo backing track.

The demo includes a rhythm guitar, electric guitar, piano, electric piano, synthesizer, two sequenced drum tracks, and a bass guitar. As a homemade demo, the sound is more computerized/mechanized than I imagine the final version may sound someday, but I am satisfied with the basic portrayal and representation as a demo.

In the next step, I thought about my first home and the associated challenges of living alone in it after losing someone I dearly loved at the time; my high school sweetheart. (...she married someone else.)

So, the song is about a young man who loses a woman he loves, yet he dedicates his life to her in absentia, including his first home, which he patiently waits in while hoping she'll decide to make it her home someday too.

For full disclosure, I have been happily married to a great woman for years, so the song's premise is a bit dated.

After I finished the backing track's music this morning, I began working on the melody and the lyrics. Sometimes I work for a week or two on the lyrics, and I was prepared for that this time, but the lyrics came suprisingly fast. I worked out the lyrics for the chorus, followed by verses one and two and the bridge, this afternoon and this evening.

Over the next few weeks I will record and mix the vocals and produce a demo for the next phase of the challenge, due in late January.

This is not my official entry for the lyrics. I know I have until the lyrics deadline to render changes, so I may make changes.

Your Home

Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with Jamstudio.com 2.3 and Acoustica Mixcraft 4.1
Produced by Joseph Spain
CD: none (Dave's challenge entry)
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2008, 2009

verse 1
Yesterdays are faded gray
The mirrors never show
Within these walls are memories
Of all that never was
Every year I celebrate your birthday here alone
Your pictures I framed long ago
give life to my first home

chorus
I know someday you'll find the truth
I'm waiting here alone for you
and everything I'll ever do
will bring you safely home
We share the moon above the sea
While we're apart I'll always be
a light beyond your darkest need
to guide you to your home

verse 2
You said you'd always live for me
We promised that we'd die
to live inside each other's heart
in vows we made for life
Now every day I mourn alone
the day that never was
A timeless love inside my soul
is waiting in your home

chorus
I know someday you'll find the truth
I'm waiting here alone for you
and everything I'll ever do
will bring you safely home
We share the moon above the sea
While we're apart I'll always be
a light beyond your darkest need
to guide you to your home

bridge
There's emptiness in my first home
I crossed the threshold all alone
Across the fields that bear your name
I'm everything you own

chorus
I know someday you'll find the truth
I'm waiting here alone for you
and everything I'll ever do
will bring you safely home
We share the moon above the sea
While we're apart I'll always be
a light beyond your darkest need
to guide you to your home

chorus
I know someday you'll find the truth
I'm waiting here alone for you
and everything I'll ever do
will bring you safely home
We share the moon above the sea
While we're apart I'll always be
a light beyond your darkest need
to guide you to your home

(repeat chorus through fade out)
 
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Welcome into the pool...

...the water's getting warmer. Glad to have you in with the rest of us, Joseph.

Dave's Blog
 
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...the water's getting warmer. Glad to have you in with the rest of us, Joseph.

Thanks, Dave! The challenge is proving to be quite fun. I had not planned to write for a while, so your challenge came as a welcomed surprise. :)

Cheers,
Joseph
 
verse 1
Yesterdays are faded gray
The mirrors never show
Within these walls are memories
Of all that never was
Every year I celebrate your birthday here alone
Your pictures I framed long ago
give life to my first home

Tweaking... :)

I've been mulling over the working-version of the lyrics while practicing the vocals to the song. So far, I am pleased with everything except verse 1.

I tend to write lyrics in the abstract, which is a preference, but if I see an opportunity to (a) add clarity without changing the atmosphere of the song, or (b) blend better with the melody, I consider changes.

I changed verse 1 to:

Yesterdays are faded gray
My mirrors only know
Within these walls are memories
of all that never was
Every year I celebrate your birthday here alone
Your pictures framed so long ago
give life to my first home

The main change was in the second line from "the mirrors never show" to "my mirrors only know". This line was always about the idea of mirrors "keeping secrets" or "the mirrors never telling of the sadness that transpired in the home". That idea must be condensed down to six syllables to fit the melody. Ergo, "the mirrors never show" and "my mirrors only know" both work, but I think the latter conveys my intent a little more clearly.

The second change was the line "your pictures I framed long ago" to "your pictures framed so long ago". The latter is more consistent with the melody.

Cheers,
Joseph
 
Still tweaking lyrics...

Here is the working copy of the demo backing track...

http://www.box.net/shared/uznbne7fia

...and a new version of verse 1

Yesterdays are faded gray
The mirrors never show
Within these walls are memories
of love I'll never know
Every year I celebrate your birthday all alone
Your pictures smile in every room
and shine in my first home

...and a new version of verse 2

You said you always live for me
We promised that we'd die
to live inside each other's heart
in vows we made for life
Now every day I pray to see
the hand I used to hold
A timeless gift within your reach
is waiting in your home
 
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still adjusting lyrics...

You said you always live for me
We promised that we'd die
to live inside each other's heart
in vows we made for life
Now every day I pray to see
the hand I used to hold
A timeless gift within your reach
is waiting in your home

I was practicing the song again today, and, like many times, I decided to modify the lyrics slightly.

For the passage above, which is verse 2, I decided to change the final two lines to...

These timeless gifts are in your reach
and waiting in your home

Also, I caught an error in line 1

It should read...

You said you'd always live for me

I find it interesting that each time I feel settled on the lyrics, I read them again at a later time and feel compelled to change something. :rolleyes:

I hope everyone is faring well on the challenge!

Cheers,
Joseph :cool:
 
I've been practicing singing the song for a few days while driving around, and, after a few slight changes, I'm completely satisified with the lyrics. When comments become legal in January, I will welcome any suggestions.

So... consider this the final version of my lyrics for the December 31st deadline, Dave. :)

Your Home

Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with Jamstudio.com 2.3 and Acoustica Mixcraft 4.1
Produced by Joseph Spain
CD: none (challenge entry)
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2008, 2009

verse 1
Yesterdays are faded gray
The mirrors never show
Within these walls are memories
of love I'll never know
Every year I celebrate your birthday all alone
Your pictures smile in every room
and shine in my first home

chorus
I know someday you'll find the truth
I'm waiting here alone for you
and everything I'll ever do
will bring you safely home
We share the moon above the sea
While we're apart I'll always be
the light beyond your darkest need
to guide you to your home

verse 2
You said you'd always live for me
We promised that we'd die
to live inside each other's hearts
in vows we made for life
Now every day I pray to see
your hands I used to hold
These timeless gifts within in your reach
are waiting in your home

chorus
I know someday you'll find the truth
I'm waiting here alone for you
and everything I'll ever do
will bring you safely home
We share the moon above the sea
While we're apart I'll always be
the light beyond your darkest need
to guide you to your home

bridge
There's emptiness in my first home
I crossed the threshold all alone
Across the fields that bear your name
I'm everything you own

chorus
I know someday you'll find the truth
I'm waiting here alone for you
and everything I'll ever do
will bring you safely home
We share the moon above the sea
While we're apart I'll always be
the light beyond your darkest need
to guide you to your home

chorus
I know someday you'll find the truth
I'm waiting here alone for you
and everything I'll ever do
will bring you safely home
We share the moon above the sea
While we're apart I'll always be
the light beyond your darkest need
to guide you to your home

(repeat chorus through fade out)
 
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