Deborah

  • Thread starter Thread starter Jakearabble
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Jakearabble

New member
Hey guys,
never posted in here but then again ive never had to. Well me and my friend are embarking on an album all recorded at my little project studio. Here is a link to our first song...please please please let me know what you guys think....anything suggestion is greatly appreciated

http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/album.php?aid=3436&alid=-1

Thanks so much in advance guys
-Jake
 
Hello fellow Jake,

This is not a very complex mix but the song is kinda cool.

My best suggestion would be to change up the vocal harmony. It gets kind of predictable. I would maybe go up a key or choose an ascending harmony or something to add feeling. It gets a bit tierd feeling.

I have been in love with a Deborah so I feel you anyway.:D
 
Welcome to the board !

As of late there has been a LOT of new posters who have never posted in here before.

If you want lots of reviews on your song, and I thank you for only posting a single first, (more on that later), if you want lots of reivews ... review other posters songs, and especially posters with low post number ... new posters like yourself.

As you will be learning by reviewing other's songs, and being involved in that thread, that will benifit the engineering and mixing of your EP or CD or whatever happens.

And I KNOW all of us are looking forward to hearing a new memberts music, but we are also looking forward to having you weigh in on our stuff.

Dude ... I give good review :D , if I see your name on the board having reviewed another, I will review you.

And I AM NOT SAYING you have to do some fancy schmancy review ... just do your best, be honest and try to back it up somewhat.

WELCOME TO THE BOARD !
 
Hm, fun song. How'd you mic the guitar? Sounds like you used a 57. Vocals sound pretty good.
 
even thought i know its a sin...i used a samson c01 condensor on it...people hate it but i kidna like it....but the fact you thought it was a 57 just proves me wrong hahaha....i used a mxl v67 on vocals...
thanks
more songs will come along that are more complex this we just threw together in an hour
thanks again
-Jake
 
Cute harmonica in the beginning. Guitar sounds a bit 'boxy' ?

Vox is nice and dry, up front. Mix is very unpretentious, straightforward.

Check your meters though, are the instruments peaking ABOVE the level of the vocal's meters ?

If so, which one is actually much, much louder ?

You could put a touch more verb on the vocal, but beware, your very relaxed and soft mouth approach to forming the words, and pronunciation ... will quickly muddy with verb, but there's room for some on all the instruments ... but just a touch, because it builds up on each instrument.

What you want to do with reverb, is put a tiny, tiny bit on each instrument, and finally put some on the whole mix, to 'put everything in the same room'.

Oh man ... you gotz to have some backup harmony vocals in here ... I'm tempted to sing them for you right now.

I like the simplicity of this song.

At 2:33, I love this totally exposed vocal, that takes a bit of courage eh :D !

Deborah sounds HOT dude ! :D

Your vox gets a touch lost in the lead in sentence to the last chorus.

You should end it at 3:18 ... the last two 'oh deborah' are overdoing it and tax the listener's patience a bit, just put the harmonica ending starting at 3:19.

PLEASE retrack most of this in it's entireity and repost ... because the next time you do this it will be much, much, much better, and you don't have far to go to make it a lot, lot better, but keep it simple, because that's the beauty of this song.

The vocal might should be sung with a bit more energy, not much more, just a little bit. As if you actually see Deborah out the window, and are singing to her.

You retrack it, I'll add backup vocals to a 192kbps mix, and a fiddle solo ! If you want :D

Thanks for sharing and reviewing others, welcome to the board songwriter !
 
just checked out your song...its gotta real nice flow
your phrasing is interesting and the harp fits in.
cool song!! you gonna post anymore??
 
definately will post more,
im tracking 2 songs this weekend...i will post them as soon as i have them ready
thanks
-jake
 
reaper-
definately will post more,
im tracking 2 songs this weekend...i will post them as soon as i have them ready
thanks

studioviols

hey thanks,
again this was just the acoustic version of deborah..have not tracked the large full version, but i already have the backup vocals written...thanks for the tips on the eq....i agree with pretty much all you say
thanks a ton
-Jake
 
Very good offering. Everything I would suggest has been well covered. But I think the most important thing here is it seems that you've captured you ideas, thoughts, feelings pretty clearly.

I would turn that harp down some. I can't remember if that was mentioned.
I also think this would benefit from a little boost to the vocal level. Stand a little closer to us. Let's hear it.
 
thanks...im debating whether or not to keep harp in when i do the full version. Im thinking maybe a cool synth sound...dont know how to describe the sound im thinking of...it used by the band wilco alot...let me know what you think
thanks a ton sluice
-Jake
 
Let me know if you'd like a synth track. I've got a Korg Triton that doesn't get much use these days. I'm not a pianist, but if you're just looking for a pad I could probably help.
 
I used to date a girl named Debbie...

Jake,

My old songwriting buddy was named Jake. He's a preacher now, got a kid on the way.

An old bartender girl I once new was named Debbie... coincidence, I think not.

Since I'm not the greatest player or recorder by any small means, I will comment primarily on that tasty bit of songwriting you've got going on here.

Archipelago? I love it. Arboreal? Beautiful. "Deborah pulls it off, without a seam..." I can't tell you how many times I've seen a girl do that very same thing - about a half hour ago actually...

"Guarantee you'll think it's a sign..." I did that once, and now we're married.

I love it, and it's interesting that you used a Samson C01, because I just asked about the C03 on another forum. They say it hisses? What do you think?

Nice stuff, keep up the good work, and I am anxious to hear more from you.
 
Sluice- I will defanitely let you know if me and my buddy decide on a synth track....i am a keyboard player but if we need help i will not hesitate to ask...thanks alot man...im still listening to your stuff on nowhere radio...pure genious man...i am really diggin it

Pilgram
weird, we must be somehow related, but the person that was supposed to tell us died. so it goes. On the Samson c03...i replied in your post about it actually...i dont mind my c01 at all, infact i like it, however, people on here do not like it very much at all because it dosnt have a stellar sound...as for hissing...never noticed it....i think i recomended for you to pay the extra 30 bucks and get a mxlv67, well worth the extra money...im very happy with that mic...it is what i used on vocals. check your post in the mic section to see what i said because i forget the majority of it...thanks so much for the response
-Jake
 
Cool song ... kind of has that "Cure - Boys Don't Cry" progression to it.

I'm listening on headphones...but one thing I did notice is the harp is kind of fighting with the vocal just a bit in the mix...maybe the harp needs to be mixed just a tad back (behind the vocal) ... and maybe just a tad of verb on it might be nice. There were a few places where the vocal was kind of hard to understand because the harp was getting in the way (right about the 1:11 mark comes to mind)...I do like the song, though, and you (?) have a good voice. Nice vocals all around.

Welcome to the forum!

:D
 
This is nice

I too have dated a few Deborah's

To the mix. It is very in your face, which I like. There are times when the harp is getting a bit hot. I think some reverb on each item is needed here. Not a lot, but the harp will expand a bit and be a nicer fill. The vocals are dry and could use some reverb. The same with the guitar.

Now to the singing. i didn't hear a lot of emotion. It's pretty laid back---now i'm going to sing this song kind of thing. I think you can put some more energy into the piece and really kick it up.

Nice first outing on the board!
 
Hey that's my old ladY!

Just kiddin' - Nice tune - nothing to add that hasn't been said but
a.) I like your voice - so take Sloop's advice and put some heart into it.
b.) The harp is nice - just too loud
c.) Crystal clear, in-your-face sound - almost to a fault - the guitar sounds a little muffled - not much tone color - I'm not familiar with that mic but you might try moving it around a bit.

Nice tune, man!! Lookin' forward to some more.
Milan
 
Defanitely will take your suggestion about the verb, seems to be a common response. Thanks to all
-Jake
 
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