Day of Repentance - opinions?

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oneguy

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Hey guys,

Thanks for reviewing my last song. I took a lot of your comments from the last song into this one. For example, in the last one I had a lot of comments that the two vocals weren't tight enough, so I tried to make them a bit tighter this time.

Let me know what you think!

"Day of Repentance - Yom Kippur" - Original Song - YouTube


Thanks as always!

One guy
 
Not bad. A couple of things stand out to me. The rhythm guitar sounds like it's about 10 feet behind the vocals. Don't know how you mic'd it or processed it, but that sounds a little distracting. There are some timing issues when the picked guitar comes in. The vocals that come in around 1:57 are a bit muffled and un-intelligible. Not sure about doubling the vocals through the entire song. I like to use vocal doubling in spots to add emphasis or depth in spots like a chorus or bridge part. Can't think of any songs where I used it the entire track. Try mixing it up a little bit. Could make this song more interesting.
 
"Not bad". - Thanks!

A couple of things stand out to me:

1) "The rhythm guitar sounds like it's about 10 feet behind the vocals. Don't know how you mic'd it or processed it, but that sounds a little distracting. "
- Weird why it sounds that way. I Mic'ed it separately and held the mic about 1 foot from the guitar hole. It is in the center channel. Maybe it has to do with the reverb.

2) "There are some timing issues when the picked guitar comes in. The vocals that come in around 1:57 are a bit muffled and un-intelligible. " I was trying to get the sound at the end to sound like impending doom was coming so a bit of chaos and not necessarily hitting the timing.

3) "Not sure about doubling the vocals through the entire song. I like to use vocal doubling in spots to add emphasis or depth in spots like a chorus or bridge part. Can't think of any songs where I used it the entire track. Try mixing it up a little bit. Could make this song more interesting." - I'll see what it sounds like doing just the first half without overlay. In the second half I offset both voices by about 30% in order to add more room to the recording and give it a fuller more awesome feel.

Thanks for the comments.

I'm not sure why the guitar sounds so far behind the vocals... Maybe it's because I recorded the vocals within 6 inches of the mic and the guitar within 1-2 feet.
 
Sorry oneguy, I thought this one was a bit too discordant. I quite liked the melody idea and the lyrical imagery, but either the vocals are too high or the guitar is too low, the double tracked vocals are a bit distracting throughout the whole song and the picked guitar is too out of time with the chords.

I don't think the gulf between the vocals and the guitar is to do with reverb - I just don't think the volume levels are balanced.

With the picking - I think it could enhance the tune because the picking itself sounds good but notes and rhythms are clashing against each other in a bit of a random way. It's fine saying that you want to create an atmosphere, but you still need to land on the right side of messy to make it listenable.

Not meaning to tear your recording apart, just hope the critique helps
 
"Sorry oneguy, I thought this one was a bit too discordant. I quite liked the melody idea and the lyrical imagery, but either the vocals are too high or the guitar is too low, the double tracked vocals are a bit distracting throughout the whole song and the picked guitar is too out of time with the chords.

I don't think the gulf between the vocals and the guitar is to do with reverb - I just don't think the volume levels are balanced. "

Thanks. I think what happened after going back is that since I doubled the vocals it came out too loud compared to the guitar. I also removed the double tracked vocals from throughout the song. It is occasionally interspersed and brought in at the end. Let me know if you think this works better.


"With the picking - I think it could enhance the tune because the picking itself sounds good but notes and rhythms are clashing against each other in a bit of a random way. It's fine saying that you want to create an atmosphere, but you still need to land on the right side of messy to make it listenable."

I edited the guitar stuff at the end to fix up some of it. I kind of like the way it sounds with the randomness though. I will think about this and maybe redo the guitar stuff if I change my mind. I also added a bit of "percussion" at the end. I'm not sure if it works yet.

I also added some guitar phasing between verses to lessen the monotony. Let me know if you think that works.

"Not meaning to tear your recording apart, just hope the critique helps"

Dude - I am very grateful for your critique. You can't get better without honest critiquing.

This is the updated version:


I appreciate if you could listen to it again and let me know if you think it is an improvement or a step back. Anyone else's critique is greatly appreciated too.

Regards!
One Guy
 
If anyone could opine whether the mix sounds better with :

1) No dual vocals
2) Lead guitar parts between the verse
3) "Percussion" at the end.

I would be greatly appreciative.

Below is a link to the latest...

 
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