I may be the only denizen of these parts who likes music like this. Emphasis on 'like'. You need to raise the quality a bit for it to be good.
Positive:
- Compositionally it's pretty good. Nice pacing, changes, etc.
- The guitar leads have some interesting melodic content.
- I don't mind the out of pitch vocals, those are the interesting parts. However, you have to make them sound more intentional. Here's what you do: listen to your own recordings and sing to them until you know them cold, as performed. Then retrack the vocals.
Negative:
- The vocal sound is awful, and not in a good way. Listen to something like Minor Threat, there was a low budget POS recording, but it still sounds pretty good. You need a better mic for your voice, and a better technique. Also consider doubling (or harmonizing) your rather thin vocals for critical lyrics, especially the screams. Work on dynamics: the part "tear my heart out you evil bitch" should be darker and less shrill than the preceding parts, for example.
- Ditto the comments on the vocal being too forward, drums boxy, etc.
- The guitar leads are poorly executed. The tone on the vibrato is not good; dynamic consistency is not there. Again, practice the leads to your recording until you have them down cold, then retrack.
Basically this sounds like an improvised composition, which is cool, I do that all the time. However once the song is written, you need to focus on the performance when making your final recording.
