Been away more than while - opinions please

[Whatmysay]

This is a commercial country rock song (or trying to be) I would appreciate any feedback on lyrics, arrangement or recording.

Sorry to those of you who disable pop-ups but its SoundClick

Cheers
Burt

Greatest Version of Me

Vs 1
Been way off the road girl for little more than a year
You said if I want you back I got to shift it up a gear
Well I re-boot my attitude, up-graded my ‘good man’ ways
And I’m new and improved, just for you, today’s gona be the day
Ch
For the greatest version of a brand new me
And I’ve been making progress, you’re gona love my latest release
Well, I’ve been refined, streamlined, but I kept bad boy smile
I’m going pretty fast; grab the offer while it last, in stock for a limited time
Vs 2
Took a drive on ‘Stupid’ lane, saw some boys still ‘spinning wheel’
Remember when I was one of them, till you told me ‘grow up & get real’
Well I got wise and realize you’re a woman who needs a man
So I improved myself with a little self-help, now I’m a high-class brand
Bridge
This ain’t no make over, the change is real and to my core
Your heart brakes over I’m a better man than before
I’m so sure you’ll want more
Ch

 

[rayc]

The song's beginning is a bit sudden & ROCK.
"I’m going pretty fast; grab the offer while it lasts, in stock for a limited time"
That's all for the lyrics from me because they're typically hubris filled country good old boy tune that tells a story, has a twist of cynicism and references to women's needs.
The lead guitar may need to have the edge taken off.
It does what you set out to achieve - well done!

 

[Whatmysay]

Thanks Ray

Some lyrical adjustments on Vs 2.0 and definitely be pulling back tone on lead - let my 'Rat' pedal drive the Tele too far for some country sensibilities.

Yes definite what is on the 'label is in the tin' on this one as I am really enjoying the challenge of writing to a genre at the moment.

Cheers
Burt