Any Suggestions to "Eternal Optimist"?

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Robertt8

Robertt8

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Here's a funky, happy little tune i've been working on.

For now, it's programmed drums (will be live) and me on bass (which i kind of suck), and there's a rock hole (need a guitar solo) but i think this give you a pretty good idea what I'm going for. When i get the real musicians doing their part i think it'll have a little more life too it, but feel free to offer any ideas as far as arrangement or EQing issues (i don't have an ideal listening environment)

By the way... Clapping with the beat in a song always seems to make it better to me. I've only got 4 layered claps...is that too weak?

Don't know if anyone cares or not, but this was pretty much all recorded through a Shure KSM32 into a Presonus Firebox and mixed in Cubase LE on a MAC.

Eternal Optimist:


Thanks guys...
 
I liked it a lot, just the way it is.

One thing..at 1:50...and again at 3:10...and one time after that, I believe I heard edit pops.
 
Definitely a catchy song. The acoustic and harmony coming in on the chorus is great.
My only nitpick is that at the end of some of those vocal lines you're audibly running out of breath. You laid down a very smooth, mellow vocal track, and on the whole it's excellent, but there's just a couple spots where you could go back in and maybe just re-sing the ends of lines to comp in when you're done. Think that would just about perfect it to my ears.
Besides that, great sound, looking forward to hearing it when it gets the rest put in.
 
That was fun! Maybe try grabbing your breath after the second stanza instead of stretching it all the way to the 3rd...
Fun stuff, though. I could picture that one being a real crowd pleaser at a club!
 
JEFFMAHER: Thanks! yeah, at 1:50 i was actually recording "silence" over the top of something else and got a little pop. i can kill that one for sure is i kind of quickly did that. and you're right, there appears to be something at 3:10 too. not sure what that one is. could be my computer being over taxed. thanks for listening and replying!

THE CANCERS: Thanks for taking the time to listen! I was definitely running out of breath on some of those lines. I was actually considering doing the vocals in chunks, but because of laziness i decided i could bang it out. You're right though...i think i'll have to redo these if we ever use my takes. I just have too many songs now that are too far away from being complete to work on first. thanks for the feedback!

LIFELYRICS: Thanks! this one should be fun to play live for sure...if i don't pass out, but then again, i tend to write lots of songs that could potentially make me blackout when playing live, and certainly at a quicker pace. thanks!

:)
 
It's a great reference track for what it could become... i think there is a lot of potential here, and some of the suggestions in the other posts are right on, particularly in reference to your breathing and breaking up of phrases. You'd be surprised how much stronger your vocal performance will be if you don't overdo the amount of words you try and fit in one breath. That's what overdubs are for, as long as they sound natural. Building up your air capacity is gonna be necessary, though, when you get ready to do a song like this live.

One other thought I had involves what I believe is the bridge section, where you start singing something like "well it's about summer days...",etc... The bass drum basically drops out here (or is inaudible), and since this section is traditionally the yearning part of a song, you want to make sure that you don't lose too much momentum.

Keep rockin'!
 
I agree with what everyone else said about the words and breathing. My favorite part of the song was the guitar riff and vocals at the very end. I'd like to see those parts (at least the guitar riff) earlier in the song just because they are so catchy. Maybe you could work in that guitar riff during part of the verses. Other than that it sounds good. I'm getting excited for your next cd.
 
I dug the snare sound augmented by the claps! Very spiky and hollow in a good way. If the kick problems could be solved the drums would be cool as is. Just some vox & bass remakes along with whatever else you were gonna flesh it out with and you'll have a great palette to work with during mixing. Cool song, thanks for turning us on to it...
 
ATOTHEBSIDE: thanks! I'll redo the vocal tracks this week. I know you guys are all spot on that it'll sound better. I also tightened up the EQ on a bunch of the tracks... hopefully i didn't make it too bright now, but i think it cleans up some of the "mud" i'll wait to repost until i get the verses re-recorded.

PATLANG: thanks for checking and getting back... i was actually considering putting the last guitar lines in on the verses (actually, that was my original plan), but opted for just base and drums to make it a little different than some of the other songs...i still might go back and put that back in in the 2nd verse. thanks for the feedback!

JRSIV: thanks for taking the time to listen. as mentioned above, i've tweaked EQ, so hopefully some of the kick comes out better now, but i'll wait to repost until i've got some of the "breathless" verses cleaned up. thanks!
 
Voice and guitars quality is top .KSM 32?Nice to know...
Mix is fine, but claps are too loud IMO(mix becomes a lot more balanced at 0:33).

Good job

Ciro
 
Hey, I really like this tune. Good groove and nice change ups. Nice voice.

At first I thought the hand claps were a doubled snare or something, so it didn't come across as hand claps. Gotta say, I liked the way it sounded, though. They are pretty far forward in the mix with some low freq's. Maybe leave the level where it is and eq out some of the low end and see how that fits.... idk.

cool man.
 
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