Hmmm, the drums. Well, on the plus side, I think it's better than the other song you posted. The snare is way out of whack. It sounds like it's out of tune and the wires are too loose. No attack. Too much snare buzz, like it's only mic'd on the bottom. The kick doesn't sound too bad, but it's so low in the mix it's hard to tell. Bring it up a little. How are you setting up the overheads? The sound kind of trashy and the toms don't have any pop at all. I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but overheads should be set up right, and not just thrown up in the air wherever. Proper phasing and placement are important. There's several stereo miking techniques you can use. Check the google. You simply can't overlook the basics. Good heads, good tuning, good mic placement, and good playing. Those 4 things have to be on point for good drum tracks. You can't skimp anywhere. If your drums are still missing lugs and out of tune, then you're fighting a losing battle if you want good drum tracks. If those 4 things are nailed down, then drum recording and mixing is pretty damn easy. I know you're on a budget and just wanna use what you have. That's fine, but you're not gonna get good results. Sorry. That's just the hard cold truth. What you can do though is look into sample replacement for the close mic'd stuff. The overheads will still sound comparatively bad, but you can at least get some good kick, snare, and tom samples in there, and it will still be you playing drums.
The guitars are kind of scratchy and thin. No real power there. Like with drums, you gotta start with a good tone. I personally think recording guitars is harder than drums. Small movements and angles of the mic can make a big difference in recorded tone. Drum miking isn't quite that sensitive. You might have a good guitar tone in the room but just aren't capturing it with the mic. The lead tone isn't too bad though.
The bass has a little mud in it, but it's not too bad to me because there's so little kick in the low end. Bring the kick in and the bass mud might then be too much.
The vocals seem to be performed well enough, but they lack space and clarity. The sound two dimensional and small in the mix. Bring em up, and maybe put some quick and clean delay on them.
Not a bad tune overall. Sounds like 70's rock.