All is Not Lost

[Yonce N Mild]

My song from the February challenge.

I'm honestly a little nervous about posting this because it is just me no instruments no effects just my voice. I just recorded it to a metronome. I sung the backing vocals too which sounds kinda funny. Our lead guitarist will sing backing vocals on the final track he is more of a screamer than I am.

I said I was going to let everyone in on my songwriting process so here it is this is step 2. I emailed it to my band mates and they will work on guitar/bass parts this week and we will get something more solid together when we practice on Sunday.

I am trying a few of the suggestions I received on for size in this version. Specifically Dave's advice on rewriting the second verse. I actually have 3 potential second verses now including the original. I think eventually as the song comes together it will tell me which one to use.

Any comments on the lyrics and melody would be appreciated.

Here are the revised lyrics:

a strangling hold
on the necks of our saints
abandoning hope
and damning restraint
we keep wishing we were
all the things that we ain't
and still we keep fighting
for lies we create.

It's plain that this pain will not end
(but all is not lost)
I'll play this game to the end
(no matter the cost)
On the day when the sun shines again
(and burns off the frost)
I'll burry this demon within
(end my holocaust)


keep holding on tight
don't ever let go
my god is my gun it's all that I know
when I feel myself falling and losing control
close my eyes and remember the life that they stole


It's plain that this pain will not end
(but all is not lost)
I'll play this game to the end
(no matter the cost)
On the day when the sun shines again
(and burns off the frost)
I'll bury this demon within
(end my holocaust)

We keep on believing despite the deceiving
but it's hard to digest all this shit we've been eating
There's still hope for peace and redemption and healing
If we break off these chains and rip through the ceiling

I'm holding on
(hold on through the night)
I look to the dawn
(the morning light)
I hope I stay strong
(to finish this fight)
We've got one last chance
(at getting it right)


all is not lost
(hold on)
all is not lost
(hold on)
all is not lost
(hold on)
all is not lost...............
(hold on)

and here is the link:
http://www.lightningmp3.com/live/file.php?fid=11250

 

[ido1957]

Very Cool This is the same method I use for composing for probably 3/4 of the songs I've written. Lyrics/melody/guitar in that order, with the melody written without accompaniment, that added only when the melody is complete (or close). Flows good, love the overlaps in the chorus, the modulation used in the bridge, and the modulation continued through the ending. Coming along nicely I'd say. 2 thumbs up!

 

[up-fiddler]

The nicest part of the lyric, then melody, and then instruments process is that it forces you to develop a tory first. Then it helps free you to develop a melody without chord constraints. Finally, when you add the chord structure and instrumentation you have a great feel for what is necessary to emphasize the story. I am excited to hear how it turns out with the band joining in. The melody isn't even close to what I would have imagined when I read through the lyrics. I like the vocal counterplay in the choruses and at the ending. It brings out the song for me nicely.

 

[Nicole_Rose]

i like it a lot. and the holocaust line fits a lot better than i imagined. please be sure to post the result of your bandmates input

 

[Yonce N Mild]

the holocaust line fits a lot better than i imagined.

It's such a powerful word that it really jumps out at you when you read it. When it's put to music it doesn't dominate the song as much.

I'm really glad I decided to take Dave's advice and re-write the second verse. The new verse is now my favorite part of the song. It really brings the story together. Plus the 2 other verses I wrote go in the notebook for future use.

We made some great progress on this song during practice on Sunday but we had to play at my brothers house since my amp died on me over the weekend so I didn't get anything recorded.

Hopefully we'll get some rough tracks down next week and I can post the results.

Thanks for the input everyone!