3 golden rules

masteringhouse said:
Farting in the control room is prohibited and immediate grounds for dismissal.
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I think there is an owner/operator exemption to this one. As we all know, our own farts smell OK, it's only other people's farts that smell bad. And it helps keep the drummers out of the CR.

Now if we could only do something about the stank coming from the monitors...

G.
 
One of the best ways to keep drummers out of the control room is to give them a copy of Penthouse, keeps 'em occupied for hours. Of course you'll need a second bathroom.
 
1. Get as much gear as you can. Lotsa lights is good. And lotsa pots. If you dont have around 400 or more pots on your dashboard with lotsa disco-feel lights to accomply them - ure lost allready.

2. Mix at night with potlights flashing. Imagine you are on the mothership of a huuge battle for astral domination. Turn knobs and yell as if you are trying to enter the mother of all hyperspace¨

3. Send it to mastering and pray.
 
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masteringhouse said:
One of the best ways to keep drummers out of the control room is to give them a copy of Penthouse, keeps 'em occupied for hours. Of course you'll need a second bathroom.
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Haha.
Btw, if you want free parking in major cities, buy a pair of drumsticks and stick them into the ventilator outlet on the dashboard of your car.
Then you can park on handicap-reserved parking slots without a fine. :D

If you dont want your production to sound like Led Zeppelin - dont let the drummer reside in the mix-suite.

Yeah give him/her a Penthouse magazine copy :D
 
masteringhouse said:
One of the best ways to keep drummers out of the control room is to give them a copy of Penthouse, keeps 'em occupied for hours.
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They'll still be one beat....oh never mind...some lame jokes are just tooooooo easy.

G.
 
How can you tell if a drummer is playing on a level stage?

The drool comes out of both sides of the mouth!

Did you hear about the band that locked there keys in the van?

It took them 4 hours to get the drummer out! :eek:

If you threw a drummer and a Samick Fat Strat copy off of a cliff, who would land first?

Who Cares?!! :D

How can you tell if a drummer is really talented?

Have him turn the tape off and play for real!

How can you isolate a drummer?

Ask all the musicians to leave the room! :D

How can you tell a drummer is knocking on your door?

The beat slows down!

How else can you tell?

Here's wearing a Domino's Pizza Uniform!

What do you call a drummer who breaks up with his girlfriend?

Homeless!
 
viplol @ that link

Here is 2 good ones from that page

• How can you make a drummer's car more aerodynamic?
Take the Pizza sign off of it.

• What did the drummer say to the band leader?
Do you want me to play too fast or too slow?

:D
 
Might as well post this one too.

A man and his wife went to a South Pacific Island for vacation. As they were leaving the airport they heard drums in the distant. Curiously, the man asked the taxi driver about the noise. The cab driver replied, “Those are the drums, they must never stop”.
The man asked back, “why?” Without a reply, the cab driver dropped them off at their hotel.
Later that day the couple sat along side the pool, and again the man heard the distant drums. So this time he asks the bartender nearby about the drums. Again, the bartender replies, “Those are the drums, they must never stop”, and like the cab driver, he offers no explanation.
Finally the drumming gets the best of the man and he sets out to find the source of the constant drumming. After coming to the end of the search he finds the native who is sitting pounding unceasingly on his drums. The man taps the drummer on the shoulder and asks, “What happens if you stop?”
Immediately the native stops playing, stands up, and reaches for his other instrument and says, “Bass Solo!” :eek:
 
What is the difference between a dead frog in the middle of the road and a dead trombone player in the middle of the road?

The frog was on his way to a gig!
 
What is the difference between an Orchestra and a Bull?

With a Bull, the horns are up front and the ass is in the back.
 
Q. What's the difference between a banjo and a trampoline?

A. You have to take your golf shoes off before jumping up and down on a trampoline.

G.
 
Q: What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish sheep herder?

A: Jagger screams, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"
The Scottish sheep herder screams, "Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe!"

G.

With apologies to Slidey :p
 
Anthrax said:
1... mix with crap computer speakers, if your mix sounds good on those, they will sound even better on better speakers

2... always use EQ even if it doesnt need it

3... make sure your signal is constantly clipping. the purpose of clipping is to clip the bad sounding parts of your mix off so you cant hear them.
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Thats interesting advice. Most of the stuff I read on here would contradict this.

Not sure if I agree.
 
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