The Girl in the Barbie Box

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TripleM

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Here is a song I did a few years ago, but re-did recently. I'd love to hear comments. Thanks.

MIX #1


MIX #2 - brighter jangle guitars, verb-ier acoustic guitar, drums slightly forward.


The Girl in the Barbie Box
Some girls ignore me 'cause they're way too tall
You know the kind of girl that looks just like a barbie doll
Some girls smile and everything swirls
Yeah you know it's just that way with some girls
She's not that unfamiliar with peroxide in her locks
The girl I want always looks like she came inside a Barbie box

I'm stuck being a jerk, I'm kinda sloppy
And I got a body of work, she got a body
That you know, no you're never ever going to surmount
I don't know the score, depends on how your count
The times she rewrites all the rules just because she can
She got a hundred and forty pairs of shoes and a short attention span

CHORUS
I got it bad for the girl in the Barbie box
I got it bad but opportunity never knocks
I kinda like the little hitch in her step when she walks
And I'll bet she says something dumb every time that she talks

She'll take the fight out of you, it's the truth
She's a goddess or some reasonable substitute
She'll tell you that we can still be friends
Yeah things tend to follow their usual trends
She puts my name down on a list, she makes me waste my time
Listening to the crappy songs they play on ninety-four point nine

CHORUS

BRIDGE
I try to get by on grumbling
But one thing leads to another nothing
I try to smile and my eyes try to gleam
But with me it's not as common as it might seem

CHORUS
CHORUS
 
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Nice rock/acoustic composition. I really liked the chord progression, the intro and the energy of the chorus. The instrumental solo in the middle was really cool too!
 
Thanks @OSHC . I appreciate it.

Small edit - corrected a couple of off-timed snare hits. No other changes. New file in the original post.
 
Nice tune/sound! I can feel the London-wibe from the early 70's.
 
TripleM said:
Here is a song I did a few years ago, but re-did recently. I'd love to hear comments. Thanks. The Girl in the Barbie Box
Click to expand...
The song is complete - the LAs shout out was expected - the song reminds me of them - unfortunately the key is right at edge (or beyond) your vocal capabilities -
you could record it but at a lower key - then speed it up artificially to get the key that you wrote it in - that is if you recorded on Computer - things sound like you were going for Mid 60s type recording?

I think you should open up the guitars - bring the jangle out in the jangle guitar - and give youracoustic guitars a bit more space - and the Drums need more presence - Were the LAs the inspiration for the song? Or are you a former member?
 
@Meter - thanks for the listen!

@Papanate - the songwriting exercise was to write a song that sounded like "There She Goes." So that's why I threw that in at the end. As for mix critiques... I brightened up the jangle guitar on the right and the riff. I boosted the reverb level on the acoustic guitar on the left. I adjusted volume levels to bring the drums just a bit forward.

Not huge differences. But there's a new mix at the top.
 
TripleM said:
@Meter - thanks for the listen!

@Papanate - the songwriting exercise was to write a song that sounded like "There She Goes." So that's why I threw that in at the end. As for mix critiques... I brightened up the jangle guitar on the right and the riff. I boosted the reverb level on the acoustic guitar on the left. I adjusted volume levels to bring the drums just a bit forward.

Not huge differences. But there's a new mix at the top.
Click to expand...
Interesting - it did help a good bit - you vocals sound like the top end is shave off - is it?
 
Another good one. Like Jilted John and the Toy Dolls and The Buzzcocks. Similar in theme to your Supergirl one, but that's a popular theme, the one of unrequited love. Only thing that really grates for me is the "I'll bet she says something dumb" line in the chorus. This is the object of your dreams and affections and (I think) she shouldn't be the butt of the joke or up for ridicule so much. It seems mean. That's just me, though. You could change it to "kitsch" for the internal rhyme with hitch. Or:
"I kinda like the little skip in her step when she walks
And I'll bet she says something hip every time that she talks"
 
Listening to mix 2 (love jangly guitars). Big fan of your music, another great one here, lyrics are awesome, vocals great, love the harmonies, now, imo a little deeper bass guitar would sound cool, especially on the chorus, can hear it walking a bit in the background, but would be cool a little more upfront...just my preference....I always say, power pop perfection on your stuff...dig it!
 
@Thekesslerboy - thanks for the thoughts on both the music and lyrics. I take your point on the "dumb" stuff. But to me, the song is about a superficial guy with a superficial crush on a superficial girl. And saying dumb stuff goes with the theme. But, like I say, I take your point.

@stratmonkee - thanks for listening and I'm glad you like my stuff. I was listening to mix #2 against my original, I thought the same thing about the bass level. I'm going to give it a while, and come back to it. If I still think the bass is too low I'll give it a boost. And then I think the mix is done.

Thanks again everybody.
 
Just gave this a listen... great song. I dig the humor in the song. I think I prefer mix 2.

It reminded me of some songs by a fellow named Lance Lindley who did songs years ago on his Yamaha recorder. He posted a few on the DIjonstock forum. One was called Mr Right Now.

 
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