Orayo -- Newest piece

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K-dub

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Still got middle section vocals to add -- and bass -- oh, and lead guitar -- and other stuff. But thought I'd share anyways ... because it's kind of a fun rocking tune ... and folks can tell me if I'm wandering off down strange dark alleys before I get lost.

Thanks -- and yes, even my wife has implored me to change the stupid lyrics.

Kev-
 
Kevin,
Sounds like it'll be cool.
I think the drums'll need some tidying up and I'm not sure i the rim shot in the beginning works for me or the sanre sound.
Yep, sort the lyrics.
 
rayc said:
Kevin,
Sounds like it'll be cool.
I think the drums'll need some tidying up and I'm not sure i the rim shot in the beginning works for me or the sanre sound.
Yep, sort the lyrics.
Click to expand...

Exactly the kind of comment I was looking for. I'm not a huge fan of the snare either ... but I wanted to make sure it wasn't just me. This is a prelim mix ... LOTS to tidy up later. :)
 
Great song! I really like it.
Here are my suggestions...
I don't like the way you said "three" in the beginning.
When the lead vocal is singing without the backing vocals, it sounds too thin and unadorned. (Sorry for my lack of technical terminology!) I think it would sound better a little more growly, messy and emotional.
In the bridge (starting at 1:18) that guitar part that is panned to the right needs to be louder and more rhythmic. It's too wishy washy and laid back in my opinion.
Awesome song!
 
Hot_Mess said:
Great song! I really like it.
Here are my suggestions...
I don't like the way you said "three" in the beginning.
When the lead vocal is singing without the backing vocals, it sounds too thin and unadorned. (Sorry for my lack of technical terminology!) I think it would sound better a little more growly, messy and emotional.
In the bridge (starting at 1:18) that guitar part that is panned to the right needs to be louder and more rhythmic. It's too wishy washy and laid back in my opinion.
Awesome song!
Click to expand...

lol ... I never noticed how clipped the "three" sounded. I will fix that. Interesting thought on the vocal delivery too. I see what you mean. Fortunately, this vocal was just a placeholder to build the arrangement around. I fully intended on changing the lyrics and redoing the vocal.

Excellent thoughts and thanks for the comments!
 
I like the tune.

I think the rhythm guitar sound is wrong for the tune. It needs more distortion and more upper-midrange bite. There's an acoustic guitar doubling it right? I'd get rid of that. The guitar for this should be raunchier than what you have here.

Not sure of the vocal performance. On some of the louder spots it sounds like you were working the mic. But I think you pulled back too far in spots. Lead vocal is missing some presence.

Might be a soundcloud thing or a conversion thing, but I'm noticing some chorusy-phasey thing going on. Or maybe it's just an effect on the guitars.

Drums are kind of far back in the mix. For a tune like this I'd want an in-the-face snare.

Edit - little pop on the left side at :53. Not sure if it's digital or just part of some performance.
 
TripleM said:
I like the tune.

I think the rhythm guitar sound is wrong for the tune. It needs more distortion and more upper-midrange bite. There's an acoustic guitar doubling it right? I'd get rid of that. The guitar for this should be raunchier than what you have here.

Not sure of the vocal performance. On some of the louder spots it sounds like you were working the mic. But I think you pulled back too far in spots. Lead vocal is missing some presence.

Might be a soundcloud thing or a conversion thing, but I'm noticing some chorusy-phasey thing going on. Or maybe it's just an effect on the guitars.

Drums are kind of far back in the mix. For a tune like this I'd want an in-the-face snare.

Edit - little pop on the left side at :53. Not sure if it's digital or just part of some performance.
Click to expand...

I read your mind, predicted what you'd say; and redid the mix with you in mind. :)

I also redid the count at the start (Thanks H_M!), took out the rim shots (Thanks Ray!) added the middle vocals and a lead guitar.

Update is on the link above.
 
K-dub said:
... and folks can tell me if I'm wandering off down strange dark alleys before I get lost.
Click to expand...

Nothing wrong with wandering off down strange alleys. I find that if they're alleys you like, you bring your own light with you, so darkness isn't an issue. I like the tune. I think you're going to have to work on the drums a bit, not in terms of the part, but in terms of the sound. Ringo-ize them.
 
dobro said:
Nothing wrong with wandering off down strange alleys. I find that if they're alleys you like, you bring your own light with you, so darkness isn't an issue. I like the tune. I think you're going to have to work on the drums a bit, not in terms of the part, but in terms of the sound. Ringo-ize them.
Click to expand...

Too bombastic? I've got them wet and "ringing".
 
It's too bad there isn't a setting on programmed drums something along the lines of 'tape wallet to snare to make it sound big and fat'.
 
No sorry Dub that wasn't what I was thinking on the guitars. I'm thinking somewhat raw sounding distorted electrics. Cheap Trick sounding guits was what I had in mind (that's just the first band that comes to mind). The sound you have it too tame and polished for what I'm thinking.
 
Do you think that might be just a little to thick with the busy drums? ... meaning too many rich and busy frequencies on the sound stage ... maybe a bit hard to maintain detail? I could experiment though ... as you know ... I trust your ears.
 
dobro said:
It's too bad there isn't a setting on programmed drums something along the lines of 'tape wallet to snare to make it sound big and fat'.
Click to expand...

I can give them a sonic drubbing and see if I can at once dry them and make them bigger. I'm nowhere near final mix stage as of this point ... so experimenting with everything is on the table.
 
Love your style Kev... and I understand this is the early stage, but to shove in my style preference I must agree with TripM. I would do it more chunky on the guitar (and I'm not feeling much bass). I think the main riff you are using wants to be more ballsy, which might also help connect the drums better.
 
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K-dub said:
Do you think that might be just a little to thick with the busy drums? ... meaning too many rich and busy frequencies on the sound stage ... maybe a bit hard to maintain detail? I could experiment though ... as you know ... I trust your ears.
Click to expand...

Yeah I think so. I don't know if the business of the drums is a problem to my ear. I'm more focused on the guitar sound. The distorted guitars have a significant warmness to them. But the song is high energy. The vocal is high energy. I want high energy, not to mention a little bit noisy, guitars to go along with it. I want a little less warmth and a little more "raunch".

Go out on Youtube and see if you can find Cheap Trick's Dream Police. Listen to the double tracked distorted guitar. That's the sound I'm thinking of.
 
Tobe said:
Love your style Kev... and I understand this is the early stage, but to shove in my style preference I must agree with TripM. I would do it more chunky on the guitar (and I'm not feeling much bass). I think the main riff you are using wants to be more ballsy, which might also help connect the drums better.
Click to expand...

Bass is being worked on, Tobe. I should have it soon and will post after I blend it in. Thanks for your 2 cents on the guitar issue!
 
TripleM said:
Yeah I think so. I don't know if the business of the drums is a problem to my ear. I'm more focused on the guitar sound. The distorted guitars have a significant warmness to them. But the song is high energy. The vocal is high energy. I want high energy, not to mention a little bit noisy, guitars to go along with it. I want a little less warmth and a little more "raunch".

Go out on Youtube and see if you can find Cheap Trick's Dream Police. Listen to the double tracked distorted guitar. That's the sound I'm thinking of.
Click to expand...

Oddly, when you first mentioned Cheap Trick, that's the song I thought you were referencing. I'll go listen as you suggest.
 
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