"What am I doing wrong here" Firstly you've posted your lyrics with very little introduction or explanation. You might want to get someone to read through them with you, as you have incomplete words and others used in the wrong context, as well as missing articles which means that big parts of your lyrics make no sense, which is not ideal for sparsely written material as statements which actually say something will connect far better. It's not sufficient to shoe horn whatever word fits regardless of its relevance to anything else in the lines. You'll get more response to your video if you put in a little time to get your ten posts so you can embed it, as going on a trek to listen to something based upon what you have posted here is stretching credibility a tad in my opinion.
If you don't feel technically able to respond to posts of more experienced folk then perhaps listen to their work and say honestly what you like or dislike about it in a polite way. Also stating that some say your stuff is brilliant is probably not a great turn on when people are reading your posts, but to be fair you did say that some people complain, which does balance the statement.
It's a two way street working on a forum, if you put a little time in you'll get answers to your questions. You might not like all of them, but people would have given up their own time to provide them.
All the best
Tim
Sorry im a lazy on the go type of person, i had the craving to go to the thread. Post and be done with it. I was talking about the recording not the way im singing, you skipping that shows that i did a fine job. Well the reason why i did this has a much more deeper meaning then what you see on the surface. See i wish to make ELECTRONIC grunge. Grunge had a lot of weird shit back in the day including at times lazy singing just not caring about the singing, emphasis on shit like different types of syllables more so then others. I am trying to make music that is totally different then all the shit now a days. I can go from really clean singing to fucking sound like an emotional wreck. I want to be softer singinstyle then nirvana but with the emotional intensity. You gotta look at the lyrics with the certain part to get to it. At times im going to be making fun of like shit people do now a days. The lyrics go as this. I FUCKED UP WITH POSTING THEM
BUT HERE-
lyrics :
i want to thank you males are females now
its okay thats cool no one has a vow.
feminsim has hindered the expression of males.
alot of guys just talk have a lisp or like some fucked up shit thats female about them, alot of my guy friends are waiting for the GIRL OF THEIR DREAMS to wish them off their feet.
since the roles have changed, its turned everything upside down, everyone is cheating, where i miss the old just getting together as a couple thats it. WHERE THE OTHER M USICS OF THIS TIME IS just one message GET MONEY GET BITCHES GET FUCKED UP. i am being the fucking opposite.
catch up and i find a better way
ocean and i will run the sky away.
alot of the older generation kids my age feel this way they want to get together and think of new ways to make a better society and future, but we have no fucking money to do anything, so what we do is escape into drugs, alcohol,video games, sports, tv shows and eating to get away from everything. and the ocean means everyone is doing this at the same fucking time no one is not escaping.
fuck grammar its about the point im making right now.
how dare you fight with me
you told me now their gone again
chorus,
most parents now a days fight and are too selfish to focus on one thing which should be the most important thing to them is their fucking kids, this is kinda a wakeup call to everyone, to kinda lead up to the point of what we are doign the fucking most right now which is fighting. its like we are avoiding avoiding avoiding FIGHT FIGHT judge judge judge FIGHT, and i am fucking sick of all of it. I also have other fucking meanings to it, ill let other people decide about it. and top of that like everyone my age is like super self destructive with different addictions, they cant cope with reality AND THERE IS NO FUCKIN MUSIC FOR THAT SHIT./
poor ones left alone
rotting away their lives.
now I dont condone
standard of living declines
since the motherfucking mothers and motherfucking fathers are fighting,
the kids feel left alone in this society learning how to use their psychology to get along with kids their age better. but at the same time they do not have the priveledges that i certainly did growing up, or say earlier generations, so they have forgotten and effed up childhoods.
okay the next one is cheesy but hey it goes good with it, and yo im not changing it because its fuckign true.
computer and i
is the only way
all i do for pi
i have no say
okay since of my generation coming into the light we have been cattle dived into one thing which is technology, TECHNOLOGY IS THE CURE ALL BE ALL LOVE ALL FOR ALL SOCIETY, but people do not see the problems with this which is the absolute aloneness that people have behind a computer, LISTEN TO HOW I SAY THE WORDS. now you go to school, pay 100000 for a degree, then once you have it you have nothing. nothing at all because the older people need work. i the normal person has no fucking say, no one has had any say ever at;east from my generation.
chorus again
new part.
over and over and over again
I want to help you today.
over and over and over again.
thats my whole life away
there is what you get for giving away 20 years of your life MININIMUM wage job.
soon your there 20 years, where the fuck did my life go???
and i was young
They told me
You do anything
whic i doubt
young to realize
and they dont
a little fucked up
maybe i know?
always as a kid, OH YOUR GOING TO HAVE SO MANY OPTIONS WHEN YOUR OLDER, you sit in someones lap, what do you want to be with you when your older, oh A FIREFIGHTER WHAT A GREAT JOB, okay your going to be going to be a fire fighter, okay cool thing, OKAY but then you see these fights growing up your like what the fuck is going on NONE OF THESE PEOPLE ARE HAPPY , i aint oing to be happy to. but then you realize as an adult, you actually have LESS THEN THE LAST GENERATION.
You cant know that.
I only do.
Wear those glasses.
You cant see shit around you.
making fun of the new generation because they are kinda fucking stupid.
how dare you fight with me
you told me now their gone again
hey over there i got a little something nah
i cant even look in your direction again
not being proud of the new generation at all.
some of the mishaps in the song are as a parody or some are similiar to like low self esteem because of this generations hurt, so sorry this is kinda what im going for, some of the song there is screw ups. but i am pretty happy with what i am doing.
and the reason why i said brilliant is like some people are like OH MY GOD MAN this is some shit. others are liek uh, wtf is wrong with you dude. so i am loved and hated nothing more nothing less
