Why not do covers? Most bands doing their own tunes meet lukewarm receptions, But when you do covers(and do them well) People can relate to the songs because they know them and the feedback in my personal experience is much more positive, which means repeat bookings. In this case, Brookman is trying to create a demo, presumably to get bar bookings, so I think covers are the best way in, after that you can mix in originals, and keep the crowd into it.
As far as the mix, yea, the vocals are a problem, bottom endBass and kick washes out, Guitars are a little over the top. Musically the song is there-with a little polish.