great stuff
I love it. now first off I am not a pro. I have read a ton and played around a bit with mixing. here are just a few things I would try. equalize the vocal to bring down the high middle part of your range. I didn't check the exact freq. just play with the eq a bit. also, maybe a little compression on the vocal. in addition possibly a little distortion and/or a double vocal delayed ever so slightly to give it more presence.
That being said I really, really like the intros they really set up nicely. one last thing-play with the tempo a bit. even though you are trying to be heartfelt, heartbroken, sad, your listener will get that through your lyrics, don't make them suffer a slow brooding musical as well. some of the best records of the last fifty years were mid to upbeat tempo songs with passionate, dark lyrics.
this is only my thoughts on some things to try, I'm sure others might have much different advice.
just some things to try--good luck.
