THIS ONE HAD BETTER FREAKIN' WORK!!
This poor site. I'm beginning to lose hope. Okay, I've tried to write in here about 4 times, and it won't let me. Your thread hates me. And the best part is, when I hit the "back" to get the text...my browser gives me the following error:
"HEY DIPSHIT, TRY AGAIN. TYPE IT ALL IN, AND MAYBE I'LL LET IT GO THROUGH THIS TIME."
2 quick comments. First, I liked the lead git line that you originally had in the intro, it was just out of tune. I think it needs to come back, both for balance and to make the intro not seem quite so redundant. That sounds like a shitty comment; it's not intended to be, it just needs a change, and you had the right idea from the get go...just a tuning problem.
Zeke might be on to something with the vocal, but DON'T TURN IT DOWN; in some places (not all) it smacks you in the face b/c it just sounds dry. Verb that puppy up just a bit...don't be scared of reverb...it is our friend; all effects are our friends. The vocal sounds PERFECT right at the beginning...all the verses, actually...but I might try to wet them up a bit for the choruses...I think it helps to glue the vox together to use more just in the choruses. Yeah, they sound really good during the verses...just find one of those cakewalk preset verbs that sounds TOO wet when you're listening to the vocal solo, and try that on the choruses.
Still a kick-ass song man.
Chris