I know it's kinda lame.......but Izotope Ozone gave me that little push over the edge that I thought I'd never get....(without going external).
But that's not withstanding the use of 'a proper flat response monitor system', fair quality rack of cmprs, eq, delays/verbs and a good sound card (Motu 24io) going through a reasonable desk, along with mic placement changing/checking...rarararararararara.......
Yep, I 'sorta' got there (in my way) with what I had, now I can't go back to just passing my final mix through a limiter and widening the stereo field.
Wish I had this s/w a couple of years back....but then I think that I may not have gotten my (very basic) engineering skills and concepts if I did.
Just my take....cheers!