Waterfall Of Mine

[technominds]

This is a new track I put together from scratch in about 4 hours.
Its a Pop/Jazz/Soul kind of track, i'd like some feedback on the songwriting and the mixing please =]

Download link:

Thanks,
TM

 

[Xeries]

The song seems to have a beginning, middle and an end. The lyrics are a bit vague in that after one listen, I'm not quite sure what it is about. I would imagine that after only four hours since inception to production, you may not be sure either. How exactly does one swim up a waterfall? Just curious, I know that it is figurative, but still. So much for the songwriting.

The mix sounds excellent. Very refreshing and well balanced. Actually an enjoyable listen even though the Mercury-esque vocals make me a little nervous. Good job. I'd put it out there just as it is and let everyone else worry about what it is about.

 

[DavidK]

Its a good song.

This is a new track I put together from scratch in about 4 hours.

Normally, when somebody writes this, I dont listen. Seriously. But it sounds pretty good. The drums are a bit simplistic for my tastes, I cant hear the brush very well. Its very nice work.

 

[ido1957]

Link isn't working - I'll try later.....

 

[Xeries]

That's weird, it worked earlier today.

 

[technominds]

Sorry, I moved it by accident.

Username : Guest
Password: 365

 

[technominds]

The song seems to have a beginning, middle and an end. The lyrics are a bit vague in that after one listen, I'm not quite sure what it is about. I would imagine that after only four hours since inception to production, you may not be sure either. How exactly does one swim up a waterfall? Just curious, I know that it is figurative, but still. So much for the songwriting.

The mix sounds excellent. Very refreshing and well balanced. Actually an enjoyable listen even though the Mercury-esque vocals make me a little nervous. Good job. I'd put it out there just as it is and let everyone else worry about what it is about.

how can I ever, ever know,
Ive seen this in my mind, a million times before,
how can I fight it, the confusion that I find,
how can I diffuse, these echo's in my mind,
am i wasting time in my mind,
swimming up this waterfall of mine,
am i wasting time in my mind,
swimming up this waterfall of mine,

how can I ever, beat the tide,
only the dead swim with the stream but im so tired,
how can I step up, and finally face my fears,
these currents that im fighting, will disintegrate to tears,
am i wasting time in my mind,
swimming up this waterfall of mine,
am i wasting time in my mind,
swimming up this waterfall of mine,

time to face your demons, time to smile,
beat down those voices telling you to cry,
step up and take control, reach that pinnacle,
push against that waves, dont look down or else you'le fall,
never wasting time in my mind,
swimming up this waterfall of mine,
concentrate on the light,
swimming up this waterfall of mine


Its about struggling against something that is impossible. I wont go deep into the lyrics as I like my music to mean something different to everyone.


I see the reference to Mercury's vocals, think they need a few bits re-done here and there.

 

[technominds]

Its a good song.




Normally, when somebody writes this, I dont listen. Seriously. But it sounds pretty good. The drums are a bit simplistic for my tastes, I cant hear the brush very well. Its very nice work.

I was thinking it may need to go up a little also. I dont want to make it any more complicated though as I think the simplicity is what carries the song.

 

[Xeries]

how can I ever, ever know,
Ive seen this in my mind, a million times before,
how can I fight it, the confusion that I find,
how can I diffuse, these echo's in my mind,
am i wasting time in my mind,
swimming up this waterfall of mine,
am i wasting time in my mind,
swimming up this waterfall of mine,

how can I ever, beat the tide,
only the dead swim with the stream but im so tired,
how can I step up, and finally face my fears,
these currents that im fighting, will disintegrate to tears,
am i wasting time in my mind,
swimming up this waterfall of mine,
am i wasting time in my mind,
swimming up this waterfall of mine,

time to face your demons, time to smile,
beat down those voices telling you to cry,
step up and take control, reach that pinnacle,
push against that waves, dont look down or else you'le fall,
never wasting time in my mind,
swimming up this waterfall of mine,
concentrate on the light,
swimming up this waterfall of mine


Its about struggling against something that is impossible. I wont go deep into the lyrics as I like my music to mean something different to everyone.


I see the reference to Mercury's vocals, think they need a few bits re-done here and there.

Redo the vocals if you want, but I didn't notice any stumbling or anything off-key. You have amazing control of your pipes, man. The Mercury comment was a compliment, even though I'm not a fan of his. I do recognize his talent, though.

The lyrics are good. Pretty interesting and convey the angst that you're after. Didn't Prince do something about "Chasing Waterfalls?" And then it was redone by some female group if I'm not mistaken.

 

[technominds]

Redo the vocals if you want, but I didn't notice any stumbling or anything off-key. You have amazing control of your pipes, man. The Mercury comment was a compliment, even though I'm not a fan of his. I do recognize his talent, though.

The lyrics are good. Pretty interesting and convey the angst that you're after. Didn't Prince do something about "Chasing Waterfalls?" And then it was redone by some female group if I'm not mistaken.

Thanks for the compliments on the voice, I tried to use loads of techniques ive grabbed of Buckley, Stevie and a bit of Prince too. Yea I think ive heard the chasing waterfalls song, im sure there are more similar though.

Im having to produce an entire album in this style, its going to be difficult to make it lively while still retaining the acoustic feel this one has.