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sloop
Active member
Listening now
Vocals are a little buried, there are also some pitch problems.
Too much effects on the vocals. I know you are going for this etherial sound, but it's still a bit heavy. Starting at 2:47 the guitar thing does not work at all.
At 3:20 the solo Keyboard is such a change it might as well be a different song. The transition needs work. Your voice is definitely better in this higher register. Once again that guitar is intruding on the sound.
The ending is WAY too long.
I think the piece has potential. It's nice, but it isn't done yet. I think this could be a good piece worth re-working. Trim out everything that isn't needed. Now that home artists have all this stuff to work with we always feel we need to use it all. It is easy to "over work" a piece. Lighten up the effects a bit, cut the single guitar stuff(or take it way down), shorten and simplify the transitions and shorten the ending.
Just my $.02
Vocals are a little buried, there are also some pitch problems.
Too much effects on the vocals. I know you are going for this etherial sound, but it's still a bit heavy. Starting at 2:47 the guitar thing does not work at all.
At 3:20 the solo Keyboard is such a change it might as well be a different song. The transition needs work. Your voice is definitely better in this higher register. Once again that guitar is intruding on the sound.
The ending is WAY too long.
I think the piece has potential. It's nice, but it isn't done yet. I think this could be a good piece worth re-working. Trim out everything that isn't needed. Now that home artists have all this stuff to work with we always feel we need to use it all. It is easy to "over work" a piece. Lighten up the effects a bit, cut the single guitar stuff(or take it way down), shorten and simplify the transitions and shorten the ending.
Just my $.02
B.SABBATH
New member
good melody.. you could have wrapped it all up @3:30.. the change is cool in itself, but doesn't really seem to go with the tune.. then again, I do it all the time, but it doesn't fit to me here.. the song is pretty long, it sounds like, and is the length of, 2 songs.. vocals a little off in some spots.. the song 'could' sound like Depeche Mode if you fixed it up.. good foundation to work with..
americanruse
avante-gardian angel
i also think you could make the vocals better. maybe add some harmony parts also. and i personally don't like the electronic drums. i would also suggest going into the solo keyboard part differently. maybe fade out later so it overlaps? or something...
this is just personal preference.
this is just personal preference.