Hey Doug...
OK..I have not read the other comments and here is what I think...
The guit has a nice tone...a little boxed up but, nice
The drums are really good but they are too up front...
the vox is muffled....needs help...even the spoken word...I can't make out the lyric...
Bass seems right on in the mix....
Damn man....this is a long song.....it'll be cool for a club...
it really doesn't change too much throughout either....
ya need a defined chorus riff....perhaps shorten it up a bit too....
lead guitar maybe?? I dunno....ya know?
Take it easy man,
Joe