Under my skin

  • Thread starter Thread starter joeym
  • Start date Start date
Hey Joey/RayC. Cool song

I'm not against the vocal effect in the beginning. I think you're going for a dream-like etheral feeling with a bit of tension. I think you're almost there and it would work if not for the drums. During the verses, keep the drums as sparse as possible.

I'm okay with the ending... it's big, lots of energy. you've built the song up all the way til then and you've got to keep going. I know the drums get a little lost, but not too much. I like it the way it is.

Lyrics wise, the only thing I'd suggest is finding a hard rhyme for "Under My Skin" in the chorus.

Great song!!!
 
heatmiser said:
This sounds great. You've already been given a lot of ideas here...

Vocals are the usual - total awesomeness - although I agree the effect towards the beginning is a bit too much.

I would suggest dialing back some of the drum fills a bit...I figure there's supposed to be a lot more of that going on with this style than many others, but I still think that a bit less rhythmic complexity might make the whole thing gel better.

Overall a fine recording indeed.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's the consensus right now I guess. Drums have to be dialled down and balanced better and less effect on the verse. Thanx Pete!
:)
 
ocnor said:
I think that your drum mix is making everything sound murky and unfocused. The kick is way too boomy and sounds like it's right next to your head. The hats and cymbals sound like they are 15 feet away and the snare and toms sound like they are in the next room. Imo this type of tune requires the drums to be a bit dryer.
Click to expand...

Taking note, bro....;)
Thanx for the comments!
 
Dogbreath said:
JoeyDude! :D

Awesome as usual ;)
I can hear about the kick. I like it but it makes the hats and snare sound distant. Maybe just up a skosh on those. Maybe the cymbals too.

Just nits but for the most part, this is muy excellent. :drunk:
Click to expand...

Thanx Kel, will hit it again today!
Cheers (with a clinking of beer glasses...)!:drunk::D
 
Chili said:
Hey Joey/RayC. Cool song

I'm not against the vocal effect in the beginning. I think you're going for a dream-like etheral feeling with a bit of tension. I think you're almost there and it would work if not for the drums. During the verses, keep the drums as sparse as possible.

I'm okay with the ending... it's big, lots of energy. you've built the song up all the way til then and you've got to keep going. I know the drums get a little lost, but not too much. I like it the way it is.

Lyrics wise, the only thing I'd suggest is finding a hard rhyme for "Under My Skin" in the chorus.

Great song!!!
Click to expand...

Yeah, that was the idea for the verses, like a 60's psychadelic, drugged rubbery feel. The effect is a flanger. I'll check out some other sounds, I've got a couple of others. And the drums in the verses have to be straighter. I wanted the chorus to be in strong contrast to it and a conflict between the 2 kinds of sound in the bridge. Thanx fo the comments, Dave! :)
 
Great work Joey.
For those of you who may wonder about our collaboration:
Joey hit me with the chorus already fully formed
I responded with a few verses of ideas & a narrative.
Joey picked the eyes out of my lines - generally speaking he picked the more expressionistic phrases and ones that best matched his narrative idea.
Joey then reassembled those phrases with others of his own and the killer chorus.
It's a good way to work - I offered ideas & Joey took what he likes.
It's a way I've worked in previous lyrical collabs and it's suits me fine. It also gets good results as Joey is already, as you know, quite the word smith.

I like the druggy verses after the aggressive intro - reflects the theme well.
Good strcuture and the playing/singing is ace as usual.
I look forward to the tweaking mate. You do this stuff oh so well!
Thanks for the opportunity to take part!!!
 
rayc said:
Great work Joey.
For those of you who may wonder about our collaboration:
Joey hit me with the chorus already fully formed
I responded with a few verses of ideas & a narrative.
Joey picked the eyes out of my lines - generally speaking he picked the more expressionistic phrases and ones that best matched his narrative idea.
Joey then reassembled those phrases with others of his own and the killer chorus.
It's a good way to work - I offered ideas & Joey took what he likes.
It's a way I've worked in previous lyrical collabs and it's suits me fine. It also gets good results as Joey is already, as you know, quite the word smith.

I like the druggy verses after the aggressive intro - reflects the theme well.
Good strcuture and the playing/singing is ace as usual.
I look forward to the tweaking mate. You do this stuff oh so well!
Thanks for the opportunity to take part!!!
Click to expand...

Always a pleasure to work with you Ray. It's like I'm stumbling with a blindfold on and you manage to remove it for me. Thanx for all the help! ;)
 
Great collab guys. Your individual skills (lyrics/music) combine to make a cool rockin tune. I like the slow/fast variance - gives it a nice change up. Love it! :):D:):D
 
The drums sound really choppy and haphazard like a 16 year old kid trying to be Lars Ulrich. This tune needs the drums to "flow". You should program a new dumbed down drum track with very basic beats and fills.
 
Actually I toned them down pretty much, especially in the verses...apparently not enough. Sure wish I was still 16 though....:D
 
ido1957 said:
Great collab guys. Your individual skills (lyrics/music) combine to make a cool rockin tune. I like the slow/fast variance - gives it a nice change up. Love it! :):D:):D
Click to expand...

Thanx Gerry, Ray sure knows his way with words...;)
 
Impressive all around...however, the drums are very busy and a distraction.
 
Mick Doobie said:
Impressive all around...however, the drums are very busy and a distraction.
Click to expand...

Thanx Mick!
It might be because of the different tempo changes that the drums sound so busy. Verse should be pretty straight but the chorus kind of funky. I'll be having a look at the drums again.
 
Even better now Joey,
It's a great listen & the intro build works really, really well.
 
rayc said:
Even better now Joey,
It's a great listen & the intro build works really, really well.
Click to expand...

Thanx Ray,
I'm still not sure about the bass yet. I don't know if it's filling up the bottom enough.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top