Three Suns (New Original From Propman)

[propman]

This has taken me the good part of the past few days.
Three Suns
Here are the lyrics:

There were two suns in the sky
One turned to the other one and said hi
It’s nice to meet you said the sun
But there better not be another one
And as they griped about the sky
The third one sure enough did arrive

Air raid sirens did start
They tore the other sun apart
They could all hear the shrieking horrible sound
As the other sun hit the ground
No hit the ground
No hit the ground
They looked up and said

You can’t have our other sun
You can’t have our other sun
You can’t take our other sun
No

But you know they soon found out
If they didn’t there would be a big drought
So they told them to take the sun out

A world lacking chaos
Is a world without chaos
And a world without chaos
Is not chaotic
So no sun
But indeed if there was chaos
The world would be one giant rock song

There’s only one sun
There’s only one sun
There’s only one sun now
No sun
No new sun

This has been a test of the emergency broadcast system

 

[cantthinkofname]

that was great like all your songs sorry that i don't have any critisisms so not much help, but i really liked it.

 

[PoeticIntensity]

Wow... All in all, I think this song is too eclectic to critique in any less than 2 pages. Some things I did notice were:

In the very beginning , there were some very interesting and unusual effects placed on the rhythm section.

at 37 seconds, the main vocals are completely lost in the other instruments. I couldn't make out any lyrics at all. (but only on that segment.) It seems like the mixing is totally different throughout the whole song, so... Any critiques only apply to the immediate section being critiqued.

hehe....

I like the hard rock transition at 2:00...

"without chaos... The world would be one giant ROCK SOOONG!!!" love it.

That's about it for now.

 

[Tony-bobs]

I agree, I think the vox get lost for a while in the beginning. Maybe its just my crappy laptop speakers, but there isn't much in the way of bass. Most of the song comes across as super trebley to me, but again that could be my speakers...Fun song though!

 

[propman]

that was great like all your songs sorry that i don't have any critisisms so not much help, but i really liked it.

Thank you very much! I don't mind the lack of critisisms.

Wow... All in all, I think this song is too eclectic to critique in any less than 2 pages. Some things I did notice were:

In the very beginning , there were some very interesting and unusual effects placed on the rhythm section.

at 37 seconds, the main vocals are completely lost in the other instruments. I couldn't make out any lyrics at all. (but only on that segment.) It seems like the mixing is totally different throughout the whole song, so... Any critiques only apply to the immediate section being critiqued.

hehe....

I like the hard rock transition at 2:00...

"without chaos... The world would be one giant ROCK SOOONG!!!" love it.

That's about it for now.

The effect you speak of is some drum sounds I made with a record player, and then tempo streached them down. And I already noted the vocals getting lost at that point, but there wasn't really much I could do to help that without making the mix sound bad to my ears, so I just posted the lyrics. There are a lot of songs I can't understand the words to, so I figured why not. You know? Thanks for listning.

I agree, I think the vox get lost for a while in the beginning. Maybe its just my crappy laptop speakers, but there isn't much in the way of bass. Most of the song comes across as super trebley to me, but again that could be my speakers...Fun song though!

Thanks for the listen. On my end the bass and treble sound ok to me, and having used laptop speakers before I can guess that that's why it sounds like that on your end. Thanks for listning, and I'm glad you liked it.

-Adam.

 

[Greg_L]

Good song. A little too disjointed. It has no flow whatsoever. I like the rock parts.

The mix sounds pretty decent. The vox can be louder overall. Nice to see you in here again.

 

[propman]

Good song. A little too disjointed. It has no flow whatsoever. I like the rock parts.

The mix sounds pretty decent. The vox can be louder overall. Nice to see you in here again.

Thanks Greg. I was trying to do something different. What can I say? I know the vocals could be louder, but for some reason I like their position. It just sounds right to me. Anyway, thanks for listening, and I pretty much already guessed that you would like the rock parts.

-Adam.

 

[joeym]

Yep, the rock parts really rock.....
You haven't been around for some time, Adam....
Very original song, nice sounds and effects you have in there. Definitely takes more than one listen to take it all in, but I guess that's good. Nice work once again and don't stay away too long.

Joey

 

[propman]

Yep, the rock parts really rock.....
You haven't been around for some time, Adam....
Very original song, nice sounds and effects you have in there. Definitely takes more than one listen to take it all in, but I guess that's good. Nice work once again and don't stay away too long.

Joey

Thanks Joey. I'm glad you liked it! I'll try not to stay away too long. I'm glad somebody gives a crap.

-Adam.

 

[rayc]

The bass end is fine on my headphones!
My only critique would be that the bass sample is too rounded - like a keyboard bass on Doors live recordings - to my ears a little EQing to giveit some edge would be nice - a definition peak etc.
I like the effects, the stylistic changes & destructure.
Another Goodie Adammmmmmmmm.

 

[cephus]

I liked it.

The scratchy record parts sounded a little too crisp to be a phonograph. Sounded like something was broken. I think taking a bit of edge off that would make it a bit more poetic. Unless you wanted it to sound like a blown power amp. In which case, it's perfect. Might be a bit distracting through the first verse. I like weird noises, though.

The squashed miami-vice guitar tone is interesting. Is it even a guitar?

Keyboard parts throughout were really cool. I like the bleeps and bloops.

 

[VomitHatSteve]

I liked it.

The scratchy record parts sounded a little too crisp to be a phonograph. Sounded like something was broken. I think taking a bit of edge off that would make it a bit more poetic. Unless you wanted it to sound like a blown power amp. In which case, it's perfect. Might be a bit distracting through the first verse. I like weird noises, though.

Keyboard parts throughout were really cool. I like the bleeps and bloops.

Was that supposed to be a phonograph sound? I thought you were going for a corrupted mp3 sound. (Either way, it sounded a little harsh, so cephus' suggestion is probably a good idea.)

That was a very interesting song. Overall, I think I liked it. It was a little all-over-the-place, but each individual section seemed to flow well enough.

I really liked the "la la la"s in the first verse.

*edit*
Ok. Listening again. The "la la"s are about the coolest thing ever. They make me smile!

Is this about nuclear war?

 

[jeredsteeves]

Just thought I'd say this song is hella sweet. You got tons of talent. I'm jealous.

 

[propman]

The bass end is fine on my headphones!
My only critique would be that the bass sample is too rounded - like a keyboard bass on Doors live recordings - to my ears a little EQing to giveit some edge would be nice - a definition peak etc.
I like the effects, the stylistic changes & destructure.
Another Goodie Adammmmmmmmm.

Thanks for listening Rayc, and I'm sorry it took me this long to get back to you. I've been out of the house. I can see your point about the bass. I did a bit of messing around with it to give it that sound, but I could try and mess with it a little more to improve upon it I suppose. Just give me a few days. But anyway, thanks a lot. I really did a lot more on this song than I have done for a pretty good while. Since Surf Jones if you remember that.

I liked it.

The scratchy record parts sounded a little too crisp to be a phonograph. Sounded like something was broken. I think taking a bit of edge off that would make it a bit more poetic. Unless you wanted it to sound like a blown power amp. In which case, it's perfect. Might be a bit distracting through the first verse. I like weird noises, though.

The squashed miami-vice guitar tone is interesting. Is it even a guitar?

Keyboard parts throughout were really cool. I like the bleeps and bloops.

well, it does sound like something has been broken huh? I think that's why I liked it. It fit with the song. I suppose I could try to ease off on it a bit, but the "blown power amp" sound sort of was what I was after. Actually, you know I almost never know what exactly I'm after until I hear it. I have ideas, but it takes something landing on my ear drum that makes something click to let me know it's right. It is a guitar. It does sound sort of miami vise-ish huh? I also for some reason was reminded of the B-52s on the last little bit with the guitar solo. I didn't intend it, but it is close right? I'm glad you liked the bleeps and bloops. That's what they're there for. Thanks for the listen, and the comments.

Was that supposed to be a phonograph sound? I thought you were going for a corrupted mp3 sound. (Either way, it sounded a little harsh, so cephus' suggestion is probably a good idea.)

That was a very interesting song. Overall, I think I liked it. It was a little all-over-the-place, but each individual section seemed to flow well enough.

I really liked the "la la la"s in the first verse.

*edit*
Ok. Listening again. The "la la"s are about the coolest thing ever. They make me smile!

Is this about nuclear war?

Currupt Mp3? Hmm. Cool. That wasn't what I was going for, but it sounds like a cool idea. I really like the "La"s as well. I was happy with the way they turned out. It was a sample I made "la"ing into a mic, and pitch correcting it to make it sound strange. Than I just looped it. I think my favorite bit with the "la"s though, comes right before they go out of the picture where I kind of chopped them up and mixed them around. For some reason I just really dug that sound. And no, it isn't about nuclear war, but WOW. What an effing awesome interpretation. Listening back with that in mind is so cool. I like writing songs that don't really have a deep meaning or anything most of the time just letting the words flow from my head to the paper (or from my mouth to the mic in some cases) without thinking too much about what they mean. Then when I hear interpretations like that it makes it much cooler to go, "oh yeah, I totally see that" rather than "No you bafoon, that's not it at all!!!". Originally the idea for the lyrics came after seeing what looked like the sun behind a cloud in the sky, only to see the real sun come out from behind a tree. It looked like two suns were up there. It was so cool. I'm guessing it was some type of reflection from the sun to the cloud, but it was very cool. Haveing two different light sources made everything outside look so strange. I guess not many other people even noticed, but I tend to see things like that. Nature is about the most interesting thing to me. It has been since I was about five. Anyway, I thought, what if another sun showed up? The sun is up there alone and welcomes the company. But then, another sun shows up, the sky gets to crowded, and then with the original sun realising that the human race is more important than his lack of company starts to fight with the other two. A "the sky isn't big enough for the three of us" type moment. The people on the ground are greedy though and want all three of them, but find out in the end after the heat zaps the earth of it's water and starts to set the planet on fire that the original sun was right and the other two need to be destroyed. They are, and the planet begins being rebuilt. Anyway, thanks for the listen and comments. Sorry for kind of going on a word rampage here.

Just thought I'd say this song is hella sweet. You got tons of talent. I'm jealous.

Thank you very much. That's nice of you to say.

-Adam.

 

[VomitHatSteve]

That is a pretty cool story. I can see that reading back through the lyrics.

I suppose that's the sign of good symbolism and metaphor when people can come to several different conclusions about the meaning of a song, isn't it?

 

[propman]

That is a pretty cool story. I can see that reading back through the lyrics.

I suppose that's the sign of good symbolism and metaphor when people can come to several different conclusions about the meaning of a song, isn't it?

That's what I've always thought.

-Adam.

 

[ksawaia]

That was awesome. I love that digitized intro percussion. Also love the change to the heavier parts and the vocal on all.

My only suggestion would be to do something about the crash cymbals. The sample is almost laughable (still fits in very well though), but I'm really grasping for criticisms here.

AMAZING song.

 

[propman]

That was awesome. I love that digitized intro percussion. Also love the change to the heavier parts and the vocal on all.

My only suggestion would be to do something about the crash cymbals. The sample is almost laughable (still fits in very well though), but I'm really grasping for criticisms here.

AMAZING song.

Thanks for the comment! I really appreciate it. Thank you! I can't really do much about the crash though.

-Adam.

 

[heatmiser]

Wow. You dug deep into your bag of tricks for this one! All over the place in a good way I think. Not as fond of the rockin' parts as the rest, but it is all fine. Love the '50's alien invasion sound at around 2:40...sounds almost like a theramin (spelling?).

Louder vocals please .

 

[propman]

Wow. You dug deep into your bag of tricks for this one! All over the place in a good way I think. Not as fond of the rockin' parts as the rest, but it is all fine. Love the '50's alien invasion sound at around 2:40...sounds almost like a theramin (spelling?).

Louder vocals please .

I'm gonna try to remix as soon as I can to address some of the problems mentioned here. I will see about bringing up the vocals, and possibly making the record sound less harsh. And by the way because you asked, it's theremin. Thanks for the comment Heat.

-Adam.