Three Killer Guitar Secrets

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mikemorgan

mikemorgan

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So, has anyone figured out the Three Killer Guitar Secrets yet?
 
1. If you can't play, it doesn't matter how good your gear is it's still going to sound like crap.

2. If you don't know how to/don't keep your setup properly intonated and/or in tune, it doesn't matter how good you are, it's still going to sound like crap.

3. More cowbell.

What do I win?

:cool:

Kevin
 
I think the secrets of killer guitars are,

- as children, they torture small animals
- they fill journal after journal with elaborate revenge fantasies
- often are products of alcoholic and/or abusive luthiers

But of course, once we start talking about killer guitars, we're doomed to have the endless "life without parole v. capital punishment" argument.
 
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Practice, Practice, Practice. In whichever order you choose.
 
1. awesome talent
2, unstoppable obsessive/compulsive attitude toward practicing
3. start at age 5
 
1) The cheapest way to great tone is new strings

2) Buy gear as you need it, not as you want it

3) Walk the walk before talking the talk

I'm pretty ignorant of number three.
 
Practice, Practice, Practice. In whichever order you choose.

DING DING DING DING... Johnny We Have a Winner!
Ifourth.gif


the thread can be closed now
 
1) The cheapest way to great tone is new strings

2) Buy gear as you need it, not as you want it

3) Walk the walk before talking the talk

I'm pretty ignorant of number three.


Very nice. Another winner!
 
I think the secrets of killer guitars are,

- as children, they torture small animals
- they fill journal after journal with elaborate revenge fantasies
- often are products of alcoholic and/or abusive luthiers

Agreed; however, you omitted frequent bed-wetting. That's always a sure sign of a killer guitar.
 
As a corollary, these are not The Three Killer Guitar Secrets, but rather my own personal Five Guitar Truths.

1) No matter how much I feel like a rock star, on the video I look like a pudgy bald guy making weird faces while wanking on a guitar.

2) No matter how much of a loner I am, I should play with other/better musicians--that's how I learn & grow the fastest.

3) No matter how much better the other musicians are, I still play my stuff the best (as they seem to with their material).

4) No matter how good or bad my life or my day is, being alone and playing my guitar is the one thing that is mine--no one else can take it or completely share it.

5) No matter how much I look like a pudgy bald guy making weird faces while wanking on a guitar on the video, I still feel like a rock star.

:D:D
 
1) Your guitar always sounds better in someone else's hands

2) Darkened room. Gain at four. Bridge pickup. Dash of reverb. Music played straight from the heart to an empty bedroom. The most beautiful sounds you've ever heard. Beam with pride. Until you listen to the recordings. And then, sob gently, and wonder why that SM57 works for everyone in the world, except for you.

3) Compensate for all shortcomings by buying a PRS, a Mesa Boogie, and several dozen cases of beer so that when people come over, if you sound crap, you can blame it on being too drunk to even speak. And hope that they'll be too drunk to remember.
 
1) Choose music that you care about.

2) It's about the music, not the player.

3) Use only the notes you need to say what you need to say.
 
1) Don't waste time trying to emulate other people's tones.

2) Just because you can shred, doesn't mean you have to do it all the time

3) Just because you can't shred, doesn't mean that shredding sucks.
 
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