This is my best? Before and After...

[Roel]

Good song, not really my style though, but I can't think of any compositional remarks so that's pretty good.

The one thing that bothered me on this was the attack of the bass which seemed a bit hard. I'm listening on headphones with a very clear bass-response, and it felt like it scared me every time the bass hit a note. A softer sound here would help alot.

And strings at some place could help, but do make a nice arrangement; I know you can.

 

[boydrj]

Excellent delivery from Crawdad and very nice writing. Simplicity to me is the best and this has that feeling to it...simple, yet effective in its emotional content.

I have to agree a bit with the bass comments here. It seemed a bit heavy on my end...but not so much to really take away from the song, which I believe is very nice.

Keep it up, man!

 

[NeuzGrouper]

dafduc -

WOW.

GREAT song. I personally actually like your version better, performance and instrumentation-wise. (Maybe it's cuz I am a Tom Waits fan, I dunno)

 

[dafduc]

lynx: Yeah, the four verses do stretch it out, but the song's not complete without all 4. Thanks.

Roel: I'm not sure this one calls for an arrangement. If I did one, it would probably be Nashville style. Thanks for listening.

boydrj: Thank you, too. Hope Roel caght your note about simplicity (though Mahler could've gotten both simplicity and sophistication outta this, I bet).

Neuz: I thought I'd have to do it an octave lower to get that Waits vibe. Seriously, quite a compliment. I've also gotten (not here) Jim Webb and Harry Chapin comparisons for this one. At least no one compared me to the Archies yet (different thread).

Daf

 

[super_critic]

"she unlocks my secret places"

?

c'mon dude

 

[dafduc]

Thanks for stopping by...

 

[Jagular]

Jag: Just tell your wife you DID write it for her. A lot of it is personal, and literal: alabaster belly, killer stretch marks, freckles, W-I-D-E smile, messed up back from two auto accidents. And the sings-for-her-babies thing. I'd be curious how you'd make this commercial. Crawdad said drop a verse, add a bridge. What are YOU thinking?

Hey daf - Now you're gonna hold my feet to the fire huh? .

I will definitely pm you with my thoughts. I have to convert my "feeling" into something tangible. But I still stand by my "feeling".

Just because I have a "feeling" though, doesn't mean it's right for your song in your situation. I can still catch the beauty of this song just the way it is. Because it is sincere. And like I said before. It's already in my keepers folder just the way it is. Just wanted to make sure you understand where I stand on that. But I will get some general thoughts together and pm them to you. If nothing else it will just be a cool mental exercise .

 

[super_critic]

Thanks for stopping by...

and if this is your 'best'... eeks. the future is not bright.

 

[bdbdbucksKID]

To Super Critic

Post your music...we wanna hear your "best"

 

[dafduc]

and if this is your 'best'... eeks. the future is not bright.

That was the point of the question mark.

The song's from the heart, it may not click for you. Maybe when you're older (though I have no idea - maybe you already are) and have seen the woman you love become a grandmother, and realize you love her more now than you ever did, maybe you'll understand it. Or maybe you won't.

I realize I wandered into Dan Hill territory with this one. I despise that one Dan Hill song everyone knows (Sometimes When We Touch). I hope this is nowheres near as insipid, but it's hard to tell, being as close to the subject as I am.

I did a Google on "she unlocks my secret places" and the only hit I got was my own webpage where I posted the lyrics last year. Given the continual posting of lyrics from songs on the web, that would seem to say that the line, whatever you think of its quality, is original, and not some overwrought cliche.

There is NO song out there that everyone likes. I guess you're just not part of my demographic on this one.

Daf

 

[Khompewtur]

LoL! super_critic is making the rounds today! What is up with this place lately it's like "crazy hits, all the time"

star bandits, flame wars, smurf trolls. I can't even tear myself away to go watch TV.

 

[wfaraoni]

I'll take the bait... duh

Well we thought we had some kind of sanctuary here.

But unfortunately, sometimes the reality comes through.

Afterall, It is the net

theres plenty of wierdos to go around too

I hope it doesnt get trashed with imature childish trash like most net places.

Time to start to use that "ignore list" I guess... nice feature!


Sometimes the comments and flame wars are part of the entertainment and personality diversification (sp) that make this place so addictive.
But sometimes its just real annoying, kinda like having a private conversation with a friend and a forward stranger just walks up and chimes in with some rediculous comment.
I guess Ill do what I do in reality, give a look of disbelief and move on.

Or Did I miss something?


Peace
Bill




Peace
Bill

 

[dafduc]

Did I miss something?

I checked on another of supercritic's posts and he said he liked something (the LEARN post, I think), so I just figgered he's got opinions and is sharing them.

Did I find the only thread he didn't slam, or sumpin'?

I'm guessing this is an alter-ego for someone who doesn't want to burn bridges? Or wants to stir shit up?

Should we start looking at IP addies???

 

[skids]

dafduc,
I meant to respond yesterday. Work keeps getting in the way. Had to do this during lunch.

You did a nice job here with some very nice help from dad. The tune was very thoughful and well played.

I thought it was a little long, maybe substitute a bridge in there. But at this point, with it all done and thoughts all on paper, I would not change it.

Sounds good even while chewing lunch!

 

[super_critic]

..I checked on another of supercritic's posts and he said he liked something (the LEARN post, I think), so I just figgered he's got opinions and is sharing them...

exactly.

 

[wfaraoni]

probably the best thing to do is ignore theseFOOLS I did a search and thats just his M.O.

Did you find the only thread he did not slam? Yeah, probably his own under another name LOL

Also something about hes from korea in one
probably, another Hook
OR

Just totally ignorant to Modern civilized western world tastes and expressing that "why are you all not just like me" "Im so Important and what I say matters"

Or

"if I had a personality a friend or a laxative, I wouldn,t be here"


LMAO

I'M so funnny




Great song Dafduc

Peace
Bill

 

[super_critic]

probably the best thing to do is ignore theseFOOLS I did a search and thats just his M.O.

Did you find the only thread he did not slam? Yeah, probably his own under another name LOL

Also something about hes from korea in one
probably, another Hook
OR

Just totally ignorant to Modern civilized western world tastes and expressing that "why are you all not just like me" "Im so Important and what I say matters"

Or

"if I had a personality a friend or a laxative, I wouldn,t be here"


LMAO

I'M so funnny




Great song Dafduc

Peace
Bill

whatever bill.

 

[Guernica]

and if this is your 'best'... eeks. the future is not bright.

....its time to put something up man. Folks wanna hear where those brilliant ears of yours are coming from......

 

[Kramer]

....its time to put something up man. Folks wanna hear where those brilliant ears of yours are coming from......

I dont think there is snowballs chance in hell of him posting anything G.

 

[crawdad]

Re: To Super Critic

Post your music...we wanna hear your "best"

exactly.