Take Your Life - Alt. Rock Song

J

jonlint

Member
Hi all,

Wrote this song on a guitar with a Floyd Rose I got for Christmas - Harley Benton SC-Custom FR. Inspired me to write a song on it. Feedback welcome:

Take Your Life by Jonathan Linton 4 | Free Listening on SoundCloud

TAKE YOU LIFE
(Words by Jonathan Linton, Music by Jonathan Linton)

I sit and wait upon you
Got nothin’ better to do
I will pray upon you
Your life will devalue
I bob and waive, in the web
Waitin’ for your misstep
Then I grab and steal
Hide, conceal
Take your life
Leave you behind

You got a life
I got the time
To find every dime
Hidin’ in shadows
Faceless crime
To take your life
Leave you behind

You’ll never know it’s me
Who raped your identity
Digital ID
Easy picking, shopping spree
Now you see me, now you don’t
Sink to depths, others won’t
As I grab and steal
Hide, conceal
Take your life
Leave you behind

You got a life
I got the time
To find every dime
Hidin’ in shadows
Faceless crime
To take your life
Leave you behind

Solo

You got a life
I got the time
To find every dime
Hidin’ in shadows
Faceless crime
To take your life
Leave you behind

Laugh…
 
Wow that's compressed.

Was that an amp sim? Kind of sounded like it. Guitar sound was pretty cool. Rhythm guitars were a little loud.

Vocal sound was pretty good. Maybe notch out at ~2400hz or so? It's a little brittle. I like the harmony vocal. Really cool.

Drums were a little mechanical. Bass guitar is dominating the kick a little.

I liked the lead, but it's swimming in reverb. I'd back that off a little.
 
Aside from mixing stuff, I think more familiarity with the floyd is needed.
I'm hearing a bunch of out of tune stuff.
A floyd can be great but needs to be used with finesse. It has got to sound right.
No offense but I think the excitement of the 'new toy' got the better of you. ;)
My unbiased opinion upon first listen was "that sounds off"
 
The verse sounds good. The chorus is a letdown. It isn't hooky enough, and the phrasing of lyrics sounds mechanical. The lyrics felt more natural in the verse.

Yeah, it is pretty compressed.
 
Hi all,

Many thanks for the feedback! Direct and honest - as I like it! Your critique is very helpful to refine the mix and performance. I do need to get more used to the Floyd to play in tune. The guitars are played through a Kemper.

I'll definitely apply your suggestions in the next version... Thanks again!

Jonathan
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top