Some of my lyrics, new to rapping

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Hey bitch, come here and suck my dick,
But make it quick,
Deep throat it, untill it makes you sick,
I do it because I like to see the expression,
I'm the opposite of perfection,
You'll never be on my section,
I should be the next president, you better vote for me in the next election,
Hurry up and get an erection,
Because the blowtorch gonna run out of fuel,
And all the people who bullied me at school,
Your the fool,
Because I'm the definition of cruel,
I even invented the red eyed mule,
I sent it to an enemy,
I try to avoid infamy,
They say I worship satan, it ain't true,
You fucking retards don't got a clue,
Just listen to the song while I tell you what I've been through.
I'm scared to get a tan because I don't wanna look like a minority,
I may lose my authority,
When you stare into my eyes,
You become terrified,
Because you know I'll commit homiside,
If you say something wrong,
So you better go along,
I express my thoughts and fantasies through song,
Be careful because I might of been on the bong,
And that's not good, because I'm fucked up,
So if you fuck up,
I'll have to fuck you up,
And don't hate on the internet, because you'll be a fucking pussy, say it to my face,
So they I can put you in your fucking place,
And stick your head in a case,
It disgusts me when you speak,
I'll stab through your skull untill your brains leak,
They say a dead body reaks,
but I love the smell,
I came from hell,
And they say I can only go up,
But it doesn't seem like it, I wanna cut my wrists and drip the blood into a cup,
And I'll start drinking,
Therapists wanna know what I'm thinking, I'm sent there from the courts,
But I don't wanna share my thoughts,
Because they might go crazy, just like me,
My thoughts are locked in a cage, and their fighting to get free,
I just wanna express my rage, but the government won't let me,
They just don't see,
People at school used to say I was fat, ugly, a pussy,
But now my family says I'm evil,
The courts say I'm lethal,
But fuck all them people,
Dad I hope you die and I hope it's painful,
Fuck all the retarded people who say I should be faithful,
For having a father,
I'd rather, smash his jaw and skull with a sledge hammer,
I'll make sure I get it on camera,
So I can play it over and over, laughing, then crying,
Somedays I think I'm dying,
I cough and choke,
My house looks like shit and all I do is smoke,
I can hardly afford food, I'm fucking broke,
Hoping that'll I'll think better thoughts each toke,
But all they do is get worse,
Father recomends I go to a nurse,
But fuck him, I'll send him out in a hearse,
When he dies I'll follow his soul like a curse,
He'll scream and he'll cry,
And wonder, why I hope he dies,
I won't answer,
I'll just make his body rot from the inside, just like cancer,
I hope you die in pain,
Because your the reason I'm fucking insane,
You turned me into a beast your lucky I'm tamed,
But I love my mother,
Believe it or not, I love my brother,
But I never have and don't think I ever will love another.

Your lyrics lack impact. Everyone knows you have to START with the word BITCH, but no, you're a nancy boy wigga who wants to hide it behind a "Hey.." Really, I'm surpised you didn't follow that up with "yo, my homies" or something else lame...

And I don't want to be the one to point it out to you (but someone has to....) - in Line 8 you appear to be telling your "bitch" to hurry up and get an erection... so apparently your bitch is a ittle boy... just like you.

Let me know if you'd like more analysis.... I'm always keen to help out the youngsters...
 
It's on now! Where the hell is that popcorn eating smiley??
 
You have got to tell me how to get that smiley!

Check out dude in the hip hop forum. :)
 
Famous Dave hates racism and negativity in general. However, he has stated many times his dislike of rap and especially the negative stuff. Famous Dave is all about breaking new ground musically and bringing people together.
 
I'm new here, but my observations are as follows.

No I don't try at all

No comment

I rap my experiences and my life, how I feel.

If that's true, then all I can gather is that your life experience so far is of you being a mysoginistic smack-talking jerk. I'm not saying that you are, I don't know you, but I would feel rather compelled to avoid someone if I heard them spouting that over the radio.

people who rap about their life get somewhere, people who rap about a load of nonsense don't.

What if, as in this case, the two things appear to be one and the same?

I likes me some good rap music. Cypress Hill, The Psycho Realm..stuff like that. But I think these sorts of vocals really give it a bad name TBH. I would feel embarrassed to listen to those lyrics, and I'd be embarrassed to rap them.

Lets just take this little gem as an example...

I'll stab through your skull untill your brains leak,
They say a dead body reaks,
but I love the smell

If you're saying that this isn't nonsense, and actually about your real life, then might I suggest you contact a medical practitioner pronto, because you sound like someone that people probably shouldn't be near.

It's not the violence in the lyrics in fact that bother me, it's the fact that everything you have said thus far indicates that you take it seriously, and that's rather concerning. Hell, Eminem, while I'm not a fan, at least made his violent rants somewhat deliberately amusing.

Apologies that one of my first posts on this site appears to be an attack on someone's work. I'm usually careful to be somewhat more diplomatic when assessing someone's work, but...the lyrics tell me that diplomacy might not be an apt concept in this instance. Hey, I'm just trying to be 'real'.
 
Trash it and try writing stuff that you wouldn't mind if your Daughter listened to it ..... Unless this is the message that you have for her.

Good advice

Never heard of him...

:eek::eek::eek:

Uh... Viral? wtf?

And who the fucks famous dave.

He's yo daddy, that's who.

Yeah that's cool man now tell me who he is? nah actually don't I don't give a shit.

Thanks people I'm getting hardcore motivation from your hatred.

Please write a song about us! That way we can write a counter-song and pwn you!




This guy makes me miss Novinovak :laughings:
 
I've been assuming he's just a troll... or as RAMI says, a 10 yo...

And welcome feartoxin... you'll fit right in..
 
welcome feartoxin... you'll fit right in..



Yes welcome to the zoo Feartoxin

Wish we could of met on better circumstances.
Who is teaching these children this *rap?
I thought that hate rap went out the window years ago and was replaced with lyrics that had positive meaning. That is now designed to lift the youth out of the darkness.
 
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