
Scriabin
New member
Any critiques welcome, (especially on the "as she prayed aloud for more time") it just doesnt cut it and it needs more refining. It is a slower jazz song if that helps put it in context. Thanks
Magnolia
As the sultry Savannah moon
Breathed life into a smoke-filled room,
A mystery beneath a veil
Enticed my eye with a tempting stare.
Her touch was heaven-sent torment
Of alluring erotic descent
Provocatively inviting
Of sensuous thoughts and of sin.
I hesitated to ask her name as she slowly took my hand
But parting her guiltlessly crimson lips she charmingly began,
Magnolia
Magnolia
Magnolia
Magnolia
We waltzed beneath the pale moonlight
As she prayed aloud for more time
But when the 13th hour drew near
Without a goodbye she disappeared.
She left me holding an ivory magnolia from her hair
With a handwritten note signed forever yours in despair,
(Repeat chorus)
Magnolia
As the sultry Savannah moon
Breathed life into a smoke-filled room,
A mystery beneath a veil
Enticed my eye with a tempting stare.
Her touch was heaven-sent torment
Of alluring erotic descent
Provocatively inviting
Of sensuous thoughts and of sin.
I hesitated to ask her name as she slowly took my hand
But parting her guiltlessly crimson lips she charmingly began,
Magnolia
Magnolia
Magnolia
Magnolia
We waltzed beneath the pale moonlight
As she prayed aloud for more time
But when the 13th hour drew near
Without a goodbye she disappeared.
She left me holding an ivory magnolia from her hair
With a handwritten note signed forever yours in despair,
(Repeat chorus)