OK. Having not read others' comments:
This one is chock full of unrealized potential. I love the tune.
The melody is spot-on alt. The mix is burying the vox, though.
Suggest:
Cut the synth intro at about 10 seconds, and get right to the 1st verse...the first chord and swell really got the hair on my neck standing up....but the effect was immediately lost after the chord change at 10 sec. Interest dived.....and the part became a dirge. Cutting it and swinging into the verse would keep interest and momentum at peak.
I liked the sounds of the instruments.
The big opportunity missed....and one step short of being realized, is the dynamic build through the tune: Big guitars L&R....vocal sung up an octave with angst and emotion....then dive back to the level of verse one...and drift away.
The first verses were at one level; then it stepped up when you sang the melody up, roughly, a fifth. I kept waiting for the orgasm in the last verses or chorus. Kinda got a let-down.
I think that if you really wailed the last cycle before the ending, the emotional progression would be complete. Foo Fighters are masters of the craft, for example.
This is a really enjoyable work. Some of the stuff I hear here is doomed, compositionally....sound-wise. They cannot be improved by tweaking the mix or EQ-ing something. This tune is one of the exceptions, where the work sounds good, and is compositionally and musically interesting and well executed, but doesn't fulfill it's potential.
Wicked nice work. Hope you give it what it begs!
Having read the other comments: I think the piano sound IS dark. But it fits the mood...reminded me of a Beetoven sonata I've heard , played on a similar-sounding piano. As for the drum sound, it reminded me of Evanescense' work....also masters of the dark and forboding.
In sum, you can tweak the crap out of the sounds; but compositionally, the work will withstand sonic weaknesses. Craft the build up one notch before the outro. The complete story is then told. The plane gets off the runway.