I like the song and it sounds good considering it was done on a 4 track with one mic (in my opinion). I agree with all Emeric's comments. I'm assuming the "auto-choking" cymbal is just a really cheap crash, like the ones that come with a cheap kit? Buy a nice crash. I bought a $269 kit, and paid over $600 for cymbals (
sabian AAX: 2 crashes (dark and stage), ride (stage), hats (stage), and a china (
b8pro, never heard a china that trashy, especially for $50 used)). People hear it on tape and think I've got some DW kit I spent $10,000 on. Good cymbals help the sound of the whole kit. You seem to have a decent bass/snare sound, so cymbals would severlely improve your sound.
Practice, practice,practice, play to a click.
Dropping the vocal level should even out the whole song a bit. Maybe an echo/reverb/delay effect on the vocals? I think it would be very fitting to the song. I do my drum recording usually with a mic on the kick, snare and 2 overheads. If there is major tom usage I'll close mic them, otherwise I do the 4 mic thing. I got the bass drum mic along with 2 toms mics, that I have on occasion used as my overheads (gives a really punchy sound) for like $100 on eBay. Superlux mics I think? They do the job. The drums do soudn good for one 58 though. One more 57 or something, and you could get much better results. Either using them as a stereo pair of overheads, and being creative with placement, or one on kick one on snare. Most of your track is based on the hats/snare/kick anyways.
Doubling the guitar's might sound good, You'd just have to bounce tracks, and doing that sucks.
Anyways, I like the song a lot, just the production is kinda lacking (it was done on a 4 track, so that could be expected).
Jake