well for starters I think this crowd has been a bit to harsh on you. Yes the mix was a bit thin, but as for bass drum and snare, I think it may be appropriate for this band. (we shouldn't guess if that's what style you want) Anyone remember Korn's awful sound? But if you here them, you know it's Korn. They produce that same sound always, and on purpose, because it is unique to them. (bass guitar slappy and muddy and bass drum almost non existant)
So bringing me back to this piece, I'd say, well done, however as for my personal taste here is what I would do different.
I think the guitar needs to sound "closer" and more "in your face". If that's not possible seeing as how you already recorded it, try "widening" the sound of the guitar in certain powerful spots like choruses. You can double up the track, and pan the second track hard left or hard right. Then take that panned track and ever so slightly tap it so it moves a bit off center. (just to remove any phase problems and create a chorus sound and/or stereo gap.) Only activate that second track during the choruses, and it should jump out at you more. (but don't over do the volume on the second track, it's merely supposed to add texture)
As for the bass drum, I actually think it was unique, however I wanted to hear it more. I don't think it was "wrong", I just think for my personal taste I like much more punch. Try using 2 mics, 1 up close to the beeter and the other all the way back towards the hole of the bass drum. Point that microphone directly down. Just by moving the two mics and changine volumes, you get a wide range of unique sounds. (especially if you reverse your typical thinking by equing the "beeter mic" to remove the punch sound and then eq the second mic so that you eccentuate the punch sound.) I don't know about anybody else, but experimenting with two mics like this doesn't really ever fail.
As for the snare, once again I like it tighter and closer sounding, however it didn't sound unappropriate.
I liked the song. Good job overall. (don't let all these other people TELL you what is right and wrong.)