Running Away - Original Mix

snakeyez

snakeyez

New member
I posted about 5-6 months ago with a recording i made with my gaming headset (lol) but this is officially my first recording i have worked out with my new equipment. I'm somewhat green to recording, but usually have a good ear.
Anyhow, Here's a little love song i wrote for my girl. Any feedback will be greatly appreciated; The good, the bad, & the ugly!

Thanks!



If there are any like me that favor lyrics, the song is actually about the ironic situation that i was in when i would visit my g/f while she was staying in the dorms at college. MSU parking is horrible, so i had to park about 2 miles away, and each morning i had to run back to my car to make it to work. While i was running i found it silly that i was running away from her, yet it was where i truly wanted to be.
 
Sorry for the double post...
I updated the mp3 w/ some slight reductions to the vox volume levels....

Anyone feel like lending me some advice or criticism pretty please? I know there's gotta be something wrong w/ this. =P
 
Yeah, you're right. There is something wrong with this. There's a lot wrong and a lot right. I won't be able to get it all, but I'll try.

Wow, you lowered the vox and it is still in your face. Way too bright IMO. That's an EQ issue. You have a good voice and the falsetto is fine, too.

The song has no bottom. Any bass patches in your studio? What is the crackling noise at 1:03 that sounds like a continuous clip? That's not music in any sense of the word.

Lyrics are good. Guitar is good. String patch is kinda nice but too loud in places, like the end.

Recording is like, wow, you may have to start again to get it right. Maybe not. Maybe some smart people here can tell you how to fix it, but it seems sort of "out of balance." That's the only thing I can think of.

I really want to like this. I'm a sucker for a love song, and this is a good one, it's just a crumby recording.
 
Xeries said:
Yeah, you're right. There is something wrong with this. There's a lot wrong and a lot right. I won't be able to get it all, but I'll try.

Wow, you lowered the vox and it is still in your face. Way too bright IMO. That's an EQ issue. You have a good voice and the falsetto is fine, too.

The song has no bottom. Any bass patches in your studio? What is the crackling noise at 1:03 that sounds like a continuous clip? That's not music in any sense of the word.

Lyrics are good. Guitar is good. String patch is kinda nice but too loud in places, like the end.

Recording is like, wow, you may have to start again to get it right. Maybe not. Maybe some smart people here can tell you how to fix it, but it seems sort of "out of balance." That's the only thing I can think of.

I really want to like this. I'm a sucker for a love song, and this is a good one, it's just a crumby recording.
Click to expand...
Awesome! As i said, i'm still green at recording... this is my first song i've worked on.... With that said...
What is a bass patch? I dont really have any good basses, that's for sure. I tried using synth bass and EQ'ing the crap out of it, and then i tried using my acoustic's low E string for bass, but i just cant find a good sound. Right now it is going with the synth bass. I believe it's Cytrus in FL7.
Any recommendations on how to get a good / full bass?

The crackling noise is my electric guitar, with some sort of grunge - like effect. I was debating with myself about it's relevance in the song, and perhaps your opinion might have tipped the scale for me to remove it. heh


As for the voice... yeah, i spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to get it to sound how i would like it to in my head, but i'm not sure how, and i guess i need to keep playing around with the settings / EQ / filters. If anyone has any recommendations on that or typical settings, that would help immensely!

Thank you for checking it out, looks like i have more work to do. I greatly appreciate the feedback, and even more the honesty.
 
I would just recomend more bottom. It's a great song, but things sound so airy... more fullness would be good.

I love the strings, and the acoustic guitar sounds great. You have a great voice, I wouldn't really bring it down at all, but I would add more bottom and see what you get(not on the voice, on the bass and kick particularly)

Keep in mind, I'm no expert either. I really like the overall sound though, you definately have a good ear for this.

-James'
 
Doesn't sound bad. I agree with the more bottom-end comments. Cymbal crashes are kinda loud. Get the strings and guitar in the mix better. all in all, pretty good for a newbie.
 
I agree with all the technical comments made so far--so yeah, you've got to work on those things. But be encouraged: this is worth working on. It's great songwriting with some real passion. That's the most important starting point. Just press on...
 
I love this song. Great lyrical style and nice melody.

I think you are going to need to break down and use a real bass. It will be worth it.

Vocal... hmm.
Needs some multiband compression to tame the highs a tad. Maybe a splash of a nice EMT plate verb? Just enough to barely hear it.
 
Awesome, thank you guys very much for your advice! I'll work on it more over the next few days.
I'll have to ask my friend to borrow his bass guitar. Do you guys think it would work well if i plugged the bass guitar into my pre-amp --> Sound Card --> and then manipulate it with some software?
DMP3 --> Delta 44 -->

That's my chain. =P
 
snakeyez said:
Awesome, thank you guys very much for your advice! I'll work on it more over the next few days.
I'll have to ask my friend to borrow his bass guitar. Do you guys think it would work well if i plugged the bass guitar into my pre-amp --> Sound Card --> and then manipulate it with some software?
Click to expand...


Yep... that should work.
 
Can't help you with the bass questions. I just use a "patch" or "voice" from my Roland synth. It's got some pretty good ones, like fretless. Even a GM fretless would work pretty well, I think. But the comments about using a real one are right on, obvioulsy. There is no substitute, but some people like me are too lazy to borrow one from a friend.:)

Most importantly is what White Strat said, keep at it on this song. It's a keeper.
 
The vocal could still use some compression work.

And the distorted guitar in the background could be brought up a bit more.
 
Alright, i made some changes tonight.

- Re- Sang / Tracked the chorus & end; sounds a little better to me.
- Got a bass guitar, and made a bassline
- Brought down the high end of the vox
- Reduced volume of vox and backup vox
- Changed reverb settings of vox to a slight plate reverb
- Eliminated distorted guitar
- Reduced Strings volume a tad

Is there a good bottom to this now? Is it mixed in well?

:D

Edited:



Old no bass version
 
This is really really good. I really think you are one talented fellow.

My only nitpicks now:
The vocal in the verse needs the tiniest bit of boost in volume. (Tiny)

The interlude with the acoustic... hmm. Something there sounds not quite up to the standards of the remainder of the tune. I can't put my finger on it...

I anxiously await more tunes!
 
I agree with Steve - great tune... Bass seems to be sitting pretty good where you have it. Vocals could come up a tad on the verse. There's a bit of sibilance on the vox which may or not be removable without affecting the ability to cut through the mix. In the acoustic part maybe you need the bass to keep going or a pad to fill it up. It's a bit sparse all of a sudden there.
Great tune - :D:):D:)
 
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