Retracking of a previously posted tune

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mrface2112

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I retracked and remixed this song. I had posted it a while back (it wasn't so good). Curious to know what you think about the sonics, arrangement and mix.

Shame



thanks!
wade
 
It's not bad man. It strkes me as kind of a hard rock take on Tom Petty maybe or something.

The mix sounds pretty nice, but the guitar tones (the lead especially) sound a little ... what's the word ... I don't know. They lack "bite" and brightness. It sounds kind of one dimensional.

The lyrics tell some nice stories in general, but the first verse seemed a little incomplete. The "something went down in the middle of town" seems a little too vague comparitively speaking, IMO.

The main thing that sounded odd to me was the main lead hook that's played throughout the song. The song's in the key of D, but your lead hook is from an A blues scale. It sounds kind of like you were meaning to play the same thing, but five frets higher in the D blues scale maybe?

The first four notes (D-E-G-A) don't sound too weird, but the E sounds a bit odd. The main thing that sounds kind of "not right" to me is the half-step bend part where the notes are Eb-D-C-A-A. That Eb note sounds pretty out there (to me at least). Maybe you were going for that effect. But it kind of has the sound of playing in the wrong key. Try playing that whole lead line five frets higher and see if you like it better.
 
yeah the actual guitar doesnt flow to well to my ears.

and it does sound like you listen to alot of petty :D
 
famous beagle said:
It's not bad man. It strkes me as kind of a hard rock take on Tom Petty maybe or something.

The mix sounds pretty nice, but the guitar tones (the lead especially) sound a little ... what's the word ... I don't know. They lack "bite" and brightness. It sounds kind of one dimensional.

The lyrics tell some nice stories in general, but the first verse seemed a little incomplete. The "something went down in the middle of town" seems a little too vague comparitively speaking, IMO.

The main thing that sounded odd to me was the main lead hook that's played throughout the song. The song's in the key of D, but your lead hook is from an A blues scale. It sounds kind of like you were meaning to play the same thing, but five frets higher in the D blues scale maybe?

The first four notes (D-E-G-A) don't sound too weird, but the E sounds a bit odd. The main thing that sounds kind of "not right" to me is the half-step bend part where the notes are Eb-D-C-A-A. That Eb note sounds pretty out there (to me at least). Maybe you were going for that effect. But it kind of has the sound of playing in the wrong key. Try playing that whole lead line five frets higher and see if you like it better.
Click to expand...

I think you meant to say that the guitars need to sound different from eachother. I always bitch at our lead guitarist for making his guitar all mellow and all but matching my rhythm tone for soloing :P. I'd suggest giving the lead a different voice so it separates from the other guitar. Maybe give it it's own mix space, too, since it plays so much.

Awesome song, btw :)
 
It's a bit like Bad Company meets Tom Petty, which is cool, but I'd definitely give the guitars distinct voices for some separation.
 
Yea the vox are great, but guitars are muffled and need to brightened and EQ'ed to taste.
Good job.
 
Thanks guys! Your comments/critiques are really appreciated and have given me some stuff to chew on as well as pointed out a couple things i was already thinking.

The two rhythm guitars are rather similar to each other (identical, almost), which actually was on purpose. I was going more for the "wall of sound" thing more than two distinct rhythm guitars.

the lead is a bit more compressed and has a thinner/brighter sound, but again is a variation on the rhythm sound. i had a distinct lead sound i was shooting for (reminiscent of the late Michael Houser from Widespread Panic), which i hit pretty close to the mark on.......so in order to change em up a bit, i'll need to tweak the rhythm guitars instead of the lead. i can certainly see the desire for contrasting guitar tones--in this case, similar sounding guitars was an intentional "production decision". :D

as for the actual hook/riff lick itself--it's intentionally in that A blues scale--i guess you'd have to listen to mikey's style to understand what i was going for....but i was also going for some of that Neil Young sort of thing. My initial passes at it actually were 5 frets higher (in D), but it didn't create the sort of tension in the riff that i was looking for it to create....it "got along" (or blended) too well.

the guitars *are* a bit dark and a bit in the background. this has been one of the things i've been learning (fighting?) with my new monitors (ASP8's)--guitars always end up needing to be brighter and more forward than it otherwise seems. i posted this mp3 before i'd done a car or laptop check, and the car and laptop checks pointed this out pretty immediately. this has got to be more of a problem with my room than the monitors. but just about every mix i've done on em, the guitars have needed to come up.

i find the tom petty comparisons rather interesting. is it the vocals? or the "storytelling" nature of the lyric? or the guitars? or the really, really, really simple chord structure of the song? :D i ask b/c i never ever would've made a tom petty connection on my own--but i definitely see it!

the BadCo thing, though--i REALLY see that. i was going for that "70's classic hard rock" sound in the guitars, drums and bass. i've been listening to a lot of Neil Young's "Tonight's the Night" period stuff lately--so go fig. :D


the drums and bass were ok?


thanks folks! i've been trying to wrap up a few more tunes lately (after being nonproductive for months), so i'll post some more in another day or two. again, i really appreciate the comments! :D


cheers,
wade
 
mrface2112 said:
Thanks guys! Your comments/critiques are really appreciated and have given me some stuff to chew on as well as pointed out a couple things i was already thinking.

The two rhythm guitars are rather similar to each other (identical, almost), which actually was on purpose. I was going more for the "wall of sound" thing more than two distinct rhythm guitars.

the lead is a bit more compressed and has a thinner/brighter sound, but again is a variation on the rhythm sound. i had a distinct lead sound i was shooting for (reminiscent of the late Michael Houser from Widespread Panic), which i hit pretty close to the mark on.......so in order to change em up a bit, i'll need to tweak the rhythm guitars instead of the lead. i can certainly see the desire for contrasting guitar tones--in this case, similar sounding guitars was an intentional "production decision". :D

as for the actual hook/riff lick itself--it's intentionally in that A blues scale--i guess you'd have to listen to mikey's style to understand what i was going for....but i was also going for some of that Neil Young sort of thing. My initial passes at it actually were 5 frets higher (in D), but it didn't create the sort of tension in the riff that i was looking for it to create....it "got along" (or blended) too well.

the guitars *are* a bit dark and a bit in the background. this has been one of the things i've been learning (fighting?) with my new monitors (ASP8's)--guitars always end up needing to be brighter and more forward than it otherwise seems. i posted this mp3 before i'd done a car or laptop check, and the car and laptop checks pointed this out pretty immediately. this has got to be more of a problem with my room than the monitors. but just about every mix i've done on em, the guitars have needed to come up.

i find the tom petty comparisons rather interesting. is it the vocals? or the "storytelling" nature of the lyric? or the guitars? or the really, really, really simple chord structure of the song? :D i ask b/c i never ever would've made a tom petty connection on my own--but i definitely see it!

the BadCo thing, though--i REALLY see that. i was going for that "70's classic hard rock" sound in the guitars, drums and bass. i've been listening to a lot of Neil Young's "Tonight's the Night" period stuff lately--so go fig. :D


the drums and bass were ok?


thanks folks! i've been trying to wrap up a few more tunes lately (after being nonproductive for months), so i'll post some more in another day or two. again, i really appreciate the comments! :D


cheers,
wade
Click to expand...

Yeah the Tom Petty thing for me was definitely the vocal delivery and the lyric/storytelling. Isn't the name Mary Jane even in the song? :)
 
famous beagle said:
Yeah the Tom Petty thing for me was definitely the vocal delivery and the lyric/storytelling. Isn't the name Mary Jane even in the song? :)
Click to expand...
yeah, i had wondered if it was the "mary jane" line. :D

note to self, using "mary jane" in a song will always bring tom petty to people's minds. especially when it's used in the same double entendre way. :p


cheers,
wade
 
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