Recording Farts

  • Thread starter Thread starter hixmix
  • Start date Start date
hixmix

hixmix

Halibut, North Dakota
Should I use an expensive microphone or a cheap one?
 
Depends, are they expensive or cheap farts?
Are they going to be mixed with recordings of other bodily functions?
Any effects processing?

I'd definitely use a mic with some bass roll off, regardless.
 
For something like a popcorn fart, a small diaphram condensor. For a White Castle fart (the dreaded rectal rocket), probably a ribbon mic.
 
i would close mic that baby with a SM57...let the proximity effect kick in.....then get a NT1 or similiar condenser about 18 inches away....play with placement to get it just right....get a good bit of compression on the SM57, cut at 3K and boost at 5K and maybe a little 10K....leave the NT1 track with no compression or EQ....blend those two babies together and u will have magic....will be so friggin realistic that you should be about to light the sound coming out of your monitors....
 
FRom my experience, I'd advise you not to use your favorite vocal mic.
Also a wind-screen would be appropriate.
 
I would say to try one of those little RadioShack electret lavalier mics. Generally known as the industry standard for fart micing. Slips right down the back of your pants. You could use a tube preamp if you felt it needed a little "warming' up".
 
When Ed was here, although many soon got sick of hearing it, he recommended the FART Tube Pre ad infinitum.
 
I would think sitting on a hard wood table with enough surface space for a Realistic PZM could prove to be a winner.... About the close miking of the 57,Makes you think about that mic you just bought on Ebay
 
At ProRec, Lionel Dumond talks about using one of those very narrow Earthworks omnis on an upright bass, sticking it right inside the sound hole. I see no reason why this technique wouldn't work here as well.
 
As a species we have reached 2 new hieghts,Mikeing the fart and the Jerry Springer Show.
 
if you are going to use a condenser, here are some tips,

mic about 8 inches away for a very natural fart sound.
mic up close for a choked sound
or close mic with a dynamic and add some ambience with the condenser miced from the top about three feet away.

Remember to pan for a stereo effect.


peace.
 
No, really, try earnieshouseofwhoopass or fart.com I think they go in depth on how the
"squeak of the week" was recorded!
 
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