Recording Client Nightmares

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miroslav said:
.. I think some people are too uptight about bare feet... :eek:
...but it's better if they leave their dirty shoes at the door and go Japanese, IMO...
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We visited a friend in Hawaii that ran his house that way. He laughed and smiled when I asked if socks were ok. I went '...what? "No prob', and it'll help keep my floors clean."
 
This thread seems to be stuck on feet. Not my intention:facepalm:

What about drinks near the console, clients without direction, somebody trying to pocket a mic.. there are many less than happy scenarios.
 
Pub Style said:
This thread seems to be stuck on feet. Not my intention:facepalm:

What about drinks near the console, clients without direction, somebody trying to pocket a mic.. there are many less than happy scenarios.
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Ok, I have one in regards to stealing.

I had a buddy that worked at Guitar Center. He would play every cheap guitar to find the few that were somehow sweet. I purchased a $150 (maybe less) 'Mitchell' acoustic from GS for my daughter and just to have in the studio. The reason I remembered the name on the headstock was because of a guy who has recorded in my studio for years. His name is Mike Mitchell.

Anyway, everyone loved the shitty guitar and some recorded with it.

So one day a year after my shitty acoustic went missing (i didn't know yet) an old friend comes in and was just messing around on the guitar and asked 'what the fuck happened to this thing?. We quickly realized that someone had swapped out the good playing shit guitar for a absolute shit guitar. They looked the same...

In the end I know who did it but can not prove it. But it was just a shitty guitar. But it was my shitty guitar that played really well. I would have given the dood the guitar had he asked. But he swapped them out. Total DICK!

The one who I know did it just gets 'sorry I am busy' from me now. He proved he is a total asshole.
 
The one where the chick who I totally respect as person and a performer who's also super hot showed up in stretch pants and stood with her ass in my face the whole time was pretty rough. ;)

Maybe not a nightmare, but the people I end up recording don't seem to understand that mic placements are not really arbitrary. Like they'll see me set it up, go listen, come back and move it a little...and then just be like "That's in my way, let's just push it over there." :(

That's not even mentioning the one dude who - in the middle of what was supposed to be a live recording - systematically moved each of the mics all over the damn stage area in the middle of the performance. It ended up being a pretty accurate representation. Of their live set, though...
 
Many years ago the AV company I did a bit of work for rigged mics in a hall for an election rally.
Because it was a high profile one, the Milk Stealing Witch would be there, an independent TV company also rocked up and setup their mics as well.

All set, ring out sorted they all retired for grub before the evening's event. The TV guy asked why the AV man was lifting off mic heads. "Get nicked mate". "Nah! Said telly guy. "Loads of security".

Guess you know the outcome! After nosh all TV man's mics had been neatly snipped and pinched, had to beg a feed!

"We" also colour tagged cables. The "pros" were not very careful (or vversa!) WHOSE they slung in their truck!

Dave.
 
Just yesterday, I received a call from a guy who spoke with extremely broken English. Middle eastern broken English. We went back and forth for the better part of ten minutes, we (for the most part) got nowhere. I managed to make out that he wanted to record "E-Hop"..?? Huh?

It was very clear that this would not be a project that I wanted to be part of, and because my lil facility is located in my home, I am somewhat picky on who I let in. I am automatically turned off when somebody doesn't want to record with live acoustic drums ETC.

Politely dismissing this broken English call was not a nightmare, but my gut told me that by doing so I was avoiding a potential recording nightmare.
 
Pub Style said:
Just yesterday, I received a call from a guy ... snip

It was very clear that this would not be a project that I wanted to be part of, and because my lil facility is located in my home, I am somewhat picky on who I let in. I am automatically turned off when somebody doesn't want to record with live acoustic drums ETC. ..
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I'm happy trackin' folks that are for the most part in and around our ..or my little part of at least long time local musical scene.
 
Yeah. I don't really take cold calls. Only really record people I kind of know from around town. That's probably why even though I get the worst, noisiest, messiest punk in town, everybody is generally cool and respectful.
 
A "functional" alcoholic proceeded to waste 4 hours of my time with shit guitar playing.

Bass players seem to go out of their way to suck and use the shittiest (oddly not always cheap) gear they can find with strings as old as Jesus.

There was a kid in high school who would call quite literally 20 minutes after we finished a session to get a "rough" copy of it or some shit. Then proceed to complain about things that needed fixing. He taught me a lot about just how shitty a client can be and how to draw limits even when getting paid so I'm not mad at him for the lesson.

This will forever be my favorite story though because Jesus holy shit show. I only wish I had some pictures to go along with some of it.

So dudes in high school 15-17 year olds I was recording back in college almost a decade ago show up with a drumset that I didn't even know existed. It was a 3 piece kit with the shallowest 20" kick I have ever seen I shit you not it couldn't have been more than 10" deep tops, and 10 and 14" toms.

But I know you're thinking "so what?" Well this fucking thing didn't even stand up, every piece of hardware was loose or just missing all together. The kick drum was missing BOTH spurs. The heads were factory and I'm pretty sure this was something out of the 1980s.

So I call up my buddy and ask if I can borrow his Mapex Saturn (walnut and maple shells) and at least the high hats and ride. He said yes so we set that up.

And no joke this is what they fucking played:

What the fuck is this?.mp3

SOOOOOO... I'm actually trying not to laugh while they do it. After they get done (again I was newer at recording) I ask "so that didn't really sound like anything we can work with." They (just a drummer and guitar player) say yeah we just "wrote" this yesterday.

Come to find out the guitar player had only been playing for 4 months. The drummer quit that day. I called the gutiar player back and said that I couldn't do the project. He begged me to, again being a dumb mother fucker I relented. So with a friend of thiers, superior or ez drummer (don't remember what) and shitty bass we hammer out an arrangement. They snag a screamer guy who does just as much of a meh job as I expected in the end and we end up with a song... sort of.

 
Looking back (about 46yrs ago) the incident was quite funny.

I was doing a recording for a jazz band (all in there 60's --- me about 25yrs old) and I had to record everything as if in a live session ---- they could not/would not do overdubs ---but I was having major problems with the sax player as he was playing as if on stage (ie refusing to stand still and play into his mic so his levels were all over the place and often pouring into other instrument's mics).

After about ten attempts at trying to get something on to tape (24 track multi-track) that I could ultimately work with, I stopped the recording and (thankfully !!!) from within the Control Room, I pressed the talk back button and basically told him to "stand still and simply play at basically a mono level directly into the mic and I would adjust/ride the volume later as I mixed the session (to get the expression he was after)".

I was now not really playing attention to was he did next, but he immediately bent down and opened a long thin case and drew out a shot gun and pointed it directly at the Control Room window and me inside. I WENT STRAIGHT TO THE FLOOR.

When I finally stood up, he, his Sax and gun were no longer in the studio. I was then informed by another member of the band that I should not have said what I did (you don't say !!!), because although quite a good sax player, he apparently had some form of mental/anger management problem and had only recently been released from prison for assaulting someone with a dangerous weapon.

After that, I let any artist play/sing/whatever, however they wanted, BUT I did get most artists (particularly those I did not know or I thought could be a bit of a problem) to sign a release before starting a recording session, that basically stated that I would advise how the recording should be done and if done otherwise I would not be responsible for any inferior result. I of course had no control over bad musicianship and made this quite clear. This was to cover artists like the then quite famous one, that booked my studio to do the vocal take for his next hit song (!!!!!) --- the 3min song took just on 13hrs to get his vocal correct and finished up with me recording only a few words at a time (ie mega drop-ins !!!). Some time later I heard him sing live at a concert and it was the most excruciating experience I think that I had up to that point in time heard --- but thanks to the efforts of people like myself and other recording engineers, his recordings were always in the top ten.

Don't you just love our industry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

David
 
Speaking of gunplay, I used to have a more liberal approach to who I dealt with. I also realized early on that my inventory expired the moment that an unbooked hour arrived, and felt that a receivable was more valuable than no booking at all. Twice I was accosted with a pistol wielded by a customer who cared not for my policy of withholding all materials until any past due balance was paid in full. I wasn't crazy, only a small amount of rope was ever extended, and both times it involved less than a hundred bucks. I eventually decided that certain musical genres were more trouble than they were worth......
 
CSP said:
I was now not really playing attention to was he did next, but he immediately bent down and opened a long thin case and drew out a shot gun and pointed it directly at the Control Room window and me inside. I WENT STRAIGHT TO THE FLOOR.
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Holy shit.

This would be a great way for someone to get shot in my studio. I talked to another studio owner that decided to get his CC because of some shady shit that happened at 3am at his studio. Thankfully he was separated by a couple of doors that automatically lock. You have to be buzzed into his place.

Musicians can be some fucked up characters for certain.
 
jjinvegas said:
I wasn't crazy, only a small amount of rope was ever extended, and both times it involved less than a hundred bucks. I eventually decided that certain musical genres were more trouble than they were worth......
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Yeah you aren't the first and I totally agree.
 
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